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Thread: another little johnny

  1. #1
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    Oct 2002
    Little Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher.
    Teacher "Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?"

    Johnny "I'm sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday."

    Teacher, "Was he burned very bad?"

    Johnny, "Yes Mam, they don't f*ck around at these crematoriums you know.
    simple remedies
    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and the blockage will be almost instantly removed.
    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

    For everything else, you only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
    beer cost effectiveness
    She told me we couldnít afford beer anymore and that Iíd have to quit drinking.
    Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup.

    And I asked how come Iíd have to give up stuff and she couldnít.

    She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.

    I told her thatís what the beer was for!

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    j0hn's Avatar leet poster BT Rep: +1
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    Jul 2005
    Quote Originally Posted by baccyman View Post
    simple remedies
    all of those made me laugh

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
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    May 2005
    burlington, Ontario
    last was the best

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    rofls, the remedies were funny.
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