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Thread: Old married couple

  1. #1
    This is a story about a couple who had been happily
    married for years.

    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
    habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make
    her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop because
    it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
    it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
    see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
    blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
    Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the
    turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,
    she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
    innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
    parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
    was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
    covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his
    underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into
    his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
    usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood
    curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as
    he ran into the bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on
    the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of
    torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came
    downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look
    of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked
    him what was the matter.

    He said, "Darling, you were right. All these years you
    have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do
    you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
    farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
    But by the grace of God, Vaseline and these two
    fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    SirGray's Avatar .:Lucky:.
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    ouch! lol what an idiot.
    KOS-MOS:"I have analyzed the situation,and by my current calculations I would say we are screwed."

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
    Join Date
    Oct 2005

    pwnt BIATCH.
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  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    bornwithnoname's Avatar Bit Master BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    ROFL That was great

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    great great


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