10. Instead of saying, “Ho-Ho-Ho,”
he exclaims “Oy vey!”
9. He asks the mothers if
they want to sit on his lap.
8. His credentials include a Playgirl Centerfold.”
7. You recognize him as a former NFL star
doing Community Service hours.
6. He avoids the the food court
unless his lawyer is present.
5. He refers to the wishing fountain
as his “tip jar.”
4. He won’t talk to the kids
without a disclaimer.
3. He asks the kids to leave him
milk and ATM cards.
2. He becomes the new
cigarette lobby spokesman.
1. Before the kids sit on his lap
he orders the elves to frisk them.