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Thread: One for the ladies

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    One day my housework-challenged husband decided
    to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped
    into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
    setting do I use on the washing machine?"

    "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
    He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

    And they say blondes are dumb...
    -------- ---------------------------------------------------
    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
    "I am going to make you the happiest
    woman in the world."
    The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
    "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack
    says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey,
    what do you think the neighbors would think if
    I mowed the lawn like this?"

    "Probably that I married you for your money,"
    she replied.
    He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the
    ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
    sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
    celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On
    their special day a good fairy came to them and
    said that because they had been so good that
    each one of them could have one wish.

    The wife wished for a trip around the world
    with her husband.

    Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise
    tickets in her hands.
    The man wished for a female companion
    30 years younger...
    Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
    Gotta love that fairy!
    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
    Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
    Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
    him to death.


    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy.
    Q: What does it mean when a man is in
    your bed gasping for breath and calling
    your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down
    long enough.
    Q: Why do men whistle when they are
    sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end
    they need to wipe.
    Q: How do you keep your husband from
    reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Poster BT Rep: +25BT Rep +25BT Rep +25BT Rep +25BT Rep +25
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    lol nice one

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    hdooga's Avatar ANTI-TRADER BT Rep: +4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Some of it was too true... But id never fart on the sofa

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    jaum's Avatar )-0-0-( BT Rep: +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    good one


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