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Thread: The Stella Awards

  1. #1
    I don't know whether to laugh or cry or kick these people AND the judges in the head repeatedly. Blows my mind when I read stuff like this.

    The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued
    McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
    States. The following are this year's candidates:

    1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
    ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
    understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

    2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran
    over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of
    the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

    3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of
    the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
    malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked
    when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for
    eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
    homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of

    4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being
    bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
    yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at
    the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500
    after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because
    Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
    she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
    Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
    charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

    7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski
    purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the
    freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make
    himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski
    sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.
    The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on
    the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

    It turns out these are fake. Here are some real ones, with the link to the verified site below.

    The TRUE Stella Awards -- 2002 Winners

    #7: Attorney Philip Shafer of Ashland, Ohio, flew on Delta Airlines from
    New Orleans to Cincinnati and was given a seat, he says, next to a fat
    man. "He was a huge man," Shafer says. "He and I [were] literally and
    figuratively married from the right kneecap to the shoulder for two
    hours." He therefore "suffered embarrassment, severe discomfort,
    mental anguish and severe emotional distress," he claims in a lawsuit
    against the airline. Shafer figures this embarrassment, discomfort,
    mental anguish and emotional distress could be cured by a $9,500
    payment from Delta. If Shafer isn't careful, that might be dwarfed by
    the divorce settlement his "huge" (seat)mate might demand.

    #6: "The Godfather of Soul" James Brown has a "grudge" against his
    daughters Deanna Brown Thomas and Yamma Brown Lumar, they allege. They
    say Brown "vowed to the media that his daughters will never get a dime
    from him" and "James Brown has kept his word." So they have done what
    any kid would do when cut off from their rich daddy's bank account:
    they sued him for more than $1 million, claiming that they are owed
    royalties on 25 of his songs which, they say, they helped him write
    even though, at the time, they were children. For instance, when
    Brown's 1976 hit "Get Up Offa That Thing" was a chart-topper, the
    girls were aged 3 and 6. It's enough to make Brown switch to the

    #5: Utah prison inmate Robert Paul Rice, serving 1-15 years on multiple
    felonies, sued the Utah Department of Corrections claiming the prison
    was not letting him practice his religion: "Druidic Vampire". Rice
    claimed that to do that, he must be allowed sexual access to a
    "vampress". In addition, the prison isn't supplying his specific
    "vampiric dietary needs" (yes: blood). Records show that Rice
    registered as a Catholic when he was imprisoned in 2000. "Without any
    question we do not have conjugal visits in Utah," said a prison
    spokesman when the suit was thrown out. Which just goes to prove
    prison life sucks.

    #4: Every time you visit your doctor, you're told the same old things:
    eat less, exercise more, stop smoking. Do you listen? Neither did
    Kathleen Ann McCormick. The obese, cigarette-smoking woman from
    Wilkes-Barre, Penn., had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a
    family history of coronary artery disease. Yet doctors at the
    Department of Veterans Affairs Medical Center "did not do enough" to
    convince her to work to improve her own health. Unsurprisingly, she
    had a heart attack which, she says in a federal lawsuit, left her a
    "cardiac invalid". In addition to eight doctors, she's suing their
    employer -- the U.S. government -- demanding a minimum of $1 million
    in compensation.

    #3: In 1997 Bob Craft, then 39, of Hot Springs, Montana, changed his name
    to Jack Ass. Now, he says that MTV's TV show and movie "Jackass" was
    "plagiarized" from him, infringes his trademarks and copyrights, and
    that this has demeaned, denigrated and damaged his public image. No
    attorney would take the case, so he has filed suit on his own against
    MTV's corporate parent, demanding $50 million in damages. If nothing
    else, Jack Ass has proved he chose his name well.

    #2: Hazel Norton of Rolling Fork, Miss., read there was a class action
    suit against the drug Propulsid, which her doctor had prescribed to
    her for a digestive disorder. Despite admitting that "I didn't get
    hurt by Propulsid," Norton thought "I might get a couple of thousand
    dollars" by joining the lawsuit. When her doctor was named in the
    suit, he quit his Mississippi practice -- where he was serving the
    poor. He left with his wife, a pediatrician and internist. That left
    only two doctors practicing at the local hospital. So while Norton
    wasn't harmed by the drug, all her neighbors now get to suffer from
    drastically reduced access to medical care because of her greed.

    AND THE WINNER of the 2002 True Stella Awards: sisters Janice Bird, Dayle
    Bird Edgmon and Kim Bird Moran sued their mother's doctors and a
    hospital after Janice accompanied her mother, Nita Bird, to a minor
    medical procedure. When something went wrong, Janice and Dayle
    witnessed doctors rushing their mother to emergency surgery. Rather
    than malpractice, their legal fight centered on the "negligent
    infliction of emotional distress" -- not for causing distress to their
    mother, but for causing distress to THEM for having to SEE the doctors
    rushing to help their mother. The case was fought all the way to the
    California Supreme Court, which finally ruled against the women. Which
    is a good thing, since if they had prevailed doctors and hospitals
    would have had no choice but to keep YOU from being anywhere near your
    family members during medical procedures just in case something goes
    wrong. In their greed, the Bird sisters risked everyone's right to have
    family members with them in emergencies. :x

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  3. Lounge   -   #2
    DarthInsinuate's Avatar Died in battle
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Arkham Asylum
    what was that fake thing about?! i read most of them, i'm gonna sue your ass for misuse of another's eyes

    anyway you might want to check out the Darwin Awards
    The Sexay Half Of ABBA And Max: Freelance Plants

  4. Lounge   -   #3
    Hilarious - great site. BTW - did not intend to misuse your eyes. The first half are fake, second half real (they are well labeled as real at the second half). I didn't know the first 7 were fake when I first posted, but thought I would check before someone called me out, hence the late labelling. (I was going to edit it, but it's more fun this way I think&#33


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