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Thread: Why women should not take us shopping.

  1. #1
    Gripper's Avatar Dexter's Apprentice.
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    Shopping.






    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.

    This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

    Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering

    banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages

    and a Calor gas stove.

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave

    me alone?"

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the

    antidepressants were.

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those

    voices again."

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."


    All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in my post's are intentional.

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  3. Lounge   -   #2
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    I've seen this but used from 'Wal-Mart'. Funny stuff.



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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  4. Lounge   -   #3
    bunny67's Avatar THE ORIGINAL BUNNY! BT Rep: +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35
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    that was funny as fuck

  5. Lounge   -   #4
    Gripper's Avatar Dexter's Apprentice.
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    I'm thinking of trying a few out,she wasn't best pleased when i set all the musical reindeers off a couple of weeks ago.

    All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in my post's are intentional.

  6. Lounge   -   #5
    Alien5's Avatar μετά BT Rep: +6BT Rep +6
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    i tried the alarm clock one once, but they all went off as i was still standing there.

  7. Lounge   -   #6
    Hairbautt's Avatar *haircut
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    Haha, nice post. Shoulda posted it in the funny stuff...then again it's kinda dead-ish.
    _________________________________________________________________________________________
    Last edited by Alien5; Jun 6th, 2006 at
    06:36 PM..

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    Mathea's Avatar The Blonde Alibi BT Rep: +5
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    erm my friends and i used to do the mission impossible thing at walmart


    one time we got kicked out for knocking all the rollerblades off the top shelf so derek mooned them...NOT A PRETTY SIGHT :x

  9. Lounge   -   #8
    Panther's Avatar lost BT Rep: +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35
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    Damn, thats very funny indeed, can just picture some of those

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