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Thread: Obituary

  1. #1
    Member BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
    been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
    birth records were ! long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

    He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

    Why the early bird gets the worm;

    Life isn't always fair; and

    Maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
    than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
    charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
    overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged
    with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
    school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
    unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
    that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
    declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to
    administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not
    inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
    contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
    their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
    in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap,
    and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in
    death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
    Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is To
    Blame, and I'm A Victim.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007

    And modern America is the prime suspect for the ruthless homocide!


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