Joke 1 - it's an old one
I guy had been released back into the community after a stint in a psychiatric ward. His therapist was driving him home, when this hot girl pulls up along side, and waves at them. The mental guy asks what he's supposed to do.
He does, and she speeds off. Further down the road, she pulls up along side them again, winks and blows a kiss to the guy. He asks what to do again.
"no idea, i guess blow a kiss back"
He does, and again the woman drives off. As they near his home, the woman appears again, slows down, and gets her baps out and shakes them at him.
"What should i do now?" Asks the confused guy.
"This has never happened to me before, err, i don't know, show her your nuts."
At which point he starts smashing his head on the windscreen, dribbling and making chicken noises.