My love life is in a mess. Can the peeps at FST advise?
I've dated a Spanish girl for a year, then, for stupid reasons, i freaked out about commitment and similar things and disappeared. Literally. For 3 months. I got back in touch, to say sorry for being a tit before. We met up to "give her closure".
She said she is still in love with me, we kiss, i promise we can fix things....i disappear again. For 2 months.
This time, i sent her an email to say things will be ok this time....now she has a new b/f. I know me disappearing like that is immature, and cruel....but i do love the girl very much.
She tells me things are "comfortable" with her new FRENCH b/f...but i know she wants more than comfortable, as she told me. I would never interfer with her new relationship, as he's French and will fuck it himself (JOKE!) She's admitted she still loves me, but is hesitant (understandably) about me disappearing again.
I cant change what happened, and for those of you that know me, my disapearing was not sometihng i could control. I love her to bits, and will have her in my life, even just as a friend, forever.
But, i love her, always have, and want to get her back. I know with a bit of work this is possible, but is it fair dating her a 3rd time, just to break up in a few months? I will not run away anymore, but i worry the relationship might expire naturally and i will be seen as the external devil if this happens.
She is 31, i'm 25. We talk about kids in a few years/marriage. Shes the 1st lady i feel comfortable discussing such things with. Its not a case of"someone else has her, so i want her again"...its just i've damaged a lot of trust, and dont want to hurt her ever again. But i want her back in my life f/t.
What to do.