I know trading for a FTN invite is against the rules. So instead, I give this for a FTN invite:
First, a picture that represents me without a FTN invite:
Second, a story about me and my quest for a FTN invite:
Six months ago I was married with three children. I'm 38 years old and been married to my wife for 16 years. Then, one day while surfing the internet I heard of a magical, wondrous place called FTN. I tried to register, but alas, I discovered it was invite only and I couldn't get an invite from anyone.
For some reason, this frustration of not getting a FTN account coincided with some problems I was having in my marriage. For example, my wife said, "Honey, you're going to be late for work. Get off the computer and get ready." I couldn't believe my ears. I responded, "You don't understand me! My life will not be complete until I have a FTN invite!" She looked at me oddly. I said, "It must be nice to just stay at home all day. Housekeeping? Hah! I have to go to work, provide for this family, and find FTN invites. Do you realize what kind of pressure I'm under?"
Or a few weeks later when she said, "Your boss just called and fired you. He said your attendance at work has been erratic, and when you do show up, you fail to go to any meetings or actually do any work of any kind. He had the tech guys check your web history and you've been spending all your time looking on the internet at something called 'torrents'. What is wrong with you?"
My wife was pretty upset. She went to stay with her sister for a few days, leaving me to take care of the kids. I thought I'd get some peace, but they bugged me too. They'd say, "Dad, you haven't fed us in two days. Please, make us something!" Silly kids, eh? All I could say was "I wish I had your problems. Eating, playing. Someday you're going to grow up and have a lot bigger problems. Do you know how hard it is to get a FTN invite?"
Anyway, my wife filed for divorce. She got the house, but it was no big deal. Fine, keep the house. Actually, I was happy I hadn't gotten a FTN invite already. I'm sure she would have fought me tooth and nail for it in court. I talked to her recently, and she said she's dating someone new. I'm not sure if it was true, but I think she was saying it to hurt me. I can't wait until I get a FTN invite so I can show it off in her face. We'll see who is hurting then.
And now a poem:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I vow to kill anyone
who tries to trade FTN invites
I give this glorious thread to you with the hope of a FTN invite. Thank you.