Jealousy (relationships)

**frottage** · 10-10-2007, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Do you think swinging shows lack of respect for your partner? I'm not the jealous sort at all and I don't understand it, but I would like to think my partner wouldn't want other men to view me with disrespect. Because when you hear swingers talk, they describe other people as just objects, and say when they go home it brings them closer. I wonder if it occurs to them that the other people view them as 'just bodies' too?

Everybody has their own take on it. Personally I don't think there's any inherent lack of respect caused by the act itself, providing you inform your partner and both parties agree. Doing it without permission goes against the basic principle, which is to allow a loving, trusting couple who have grown bored with their sex life to cheat without cheating. There's not supposed to be any emotion involved. Of course, in real life it doesn't always work that way, but that's the general idea.

Now for the "viewing someone as a body" or any disrespect you might feel from letting someone other than your partner have sex with you, it goes with the territory. As stated, it's not ideal to be attached in a loving way for that, so they may view you as "a body" although that's a bit harsh to say it that way. I don't respect any different if a woman/my spouse is into swinging, but I would guess an outsider, not into that, might see it differently.

**Squeamous** · 10-10-2007, 10:07 PM

Ok, but swingers just see each other as glorified sexual organs, and however close this makes you feel to your actual partner, those feelings are inversely proportional towards all the people you have sex with. I wouldn't want to be with a man who was happy to see other people view me like that.....in fact I wouldn't want to be with a man who viewed other people as disposable sexual accessories. I can understand it if there's a regular couple you like to get it on with, maybe go out to dinner, enjoy each others' company etc......but you shouldn't treat people like chair legs that you can just hump up against for a few seconds relief. How soul destroying is that?

**frottage** · 10-11-2007, 08:14 AM

Not everyone is ok with seperating love and sex. For many, sex is a natural compliment to a healthy romantic relationship. It's harder for women, that has been proven through scientific study. The people who are into swinging don't always do it because of a deep love for sex, they may simply be incapable of maintaining "normal" relationships. The perpetual single types. So, not so soul destroying for everybody. It can be an asset, even.

The clubs here in the U.S. that allow it don't normally require you to bring your own partner, you can just show up and find someone suitable on site.