An English tourist was staying in a Scottish Bed and Breakfast for the night. As the owner was going up to his bed for the night he said to his daughter Mary. 'I'm off to bed, will you show the gentleman some highland hospitality'.
Some time during the night the owner heard a noise coming from outside. He looked out the window and saw the guest having sex with his daughter on the front lawn. He rushed down the stairs ans went out to the lawn and said 'Mary I thought I told you to show the gentleman some highland hospitality'.
Mary said, 'I am dong that dad'.
Her father said,
Naw Naw lass. Arch yer back and keep the gentlemans balls off the wet grass'.