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Thread: A Mess In Court

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    Things people actually said in court, word for word:
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

    Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

    Q: How old is your son-the one living with you?
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
    A: He said, "where am I Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    Q: And where was the location of the accident?
    A: Approximately milepost 499.
    Q: And where is milepost 499?
    A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well I can see pretty well I think.

    Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
    A: After the accident?
    Q: Before the accident.
    A: Sure, I played horn for ten years. I even went to school for it.

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.

    Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
    A: Yes.
    Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
    A: Yes sir.
    Q: What did she say?
    A: What disco am I at?

    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

    Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

    Q: Did he kill you?

    Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

    Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

    Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, do they go up also?

    Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
    A: I went to Europe, sir.
    Q: And you took your new wife?

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male or a female?

    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    And my favorite

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    Last edited by hippychick; 10-20-2007 at 02:00 PM.

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