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Thread: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

  1. #1
    George Bush's Answer:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

    Al Gore's Answer:
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

    Bill Gates' Answer:
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    Martha Stewart's Answer:
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    Dr. Seuss' Answer:
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
    But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    Grandpa's Answer:
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    Ralph Nader's Answer:
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
    Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

    Aristotle's Answer:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    Karl Marx's Answer:
    It was a historical inevitability.

    Saddam Hussein's Answer:
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    Voltaire's Answer:
    I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

    Captain Kirk's Answer:
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    Bill Clinton's Answer:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

    The Bible's Answer:
    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    Albert Einstein's Answer:
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the

    L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
    Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

    Richard Nixon's Answer:
    The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

    Buddha's Answer:
    If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

    Joseph Stalin's Answer:
    I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

    John Locke's Answer:
    Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

    The Pope's Answer:
    That is only for God to know.

    George Orwell's Answer:
    Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

    Plato's Answer:
    For the greater good.

    Nietzsche's Answer:
    Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

    B.F. Skinner's Answer:
    Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.

    O.J. Simpson's Answer:
    It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

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  3. Lounge   -   #2
    stonecold1203's Answer:
    Because it got tired of me choking it!

  4. Lounge   -   #3
    Ron's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    You forgot J.F.K.:
    "Ich bin ein huhn!!

  5. Lounge   -   #4
    lynx's Avatar .
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Yorkshire, England
    Comical Ali's answer:

    The chicken did not cross the road.
    This is a complete fabrication.
    We did not even have a chicken.
    Political correctness is based on the principle that it's possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

  6. Lounge   -   #5
    shn's Avatar 3μ|\|(7
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Originally posted by lynx@14 July 2003 - 12:43
    Comical Ali's answer:

    The chicken did not cross the road.
    This is a complete fabrication.
    We did not even have a chicken.
    Now thats funny. But I like bill gates reply the best.


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