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Thread: The politically correct Christmas

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    The politically correct Christmas
    On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

    TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

    ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

    TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

    NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

    EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

    SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

    SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

    FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

    (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

    FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

    THREE deconstructionist poets

    TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and...

    ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

    Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Happy Holidays! (unless otherwise prohibited by law)*

    *Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Living on the edge BT Rep: +4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Actatoi's Avatar 2+2 is 5 if I say so BT Rep: +2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    What an ordinary day, the extraordinary way.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Aaxel21's Avatar AHHHHH!
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    I like the revised version
    Remember bullets always have the right of way.


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