Two pals, Paddy and Patrick, are getting very drunk in a bar when
suddenly Paddy throws up all over himself.
"Oh No ! says Paddy, the wife will kill me"
Patrick says "Don't worry, Paddy. Just tuck a twenty pound note into
your breast pocket and tell the wife that
a total stranger threw up on you and gave you twenty quid for the dry
So they stay for another couple of hours and get drunk some more
Eventually Paddy stumbles home and his missus starts to give him a
"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself ! My God you're
Trying to speak carefully so as not to slur his words Paddy says
"I only had a couple of drinks - but this other fella got sick on me.
he was very sorry and gave me twenty pounds for the cleaning bill !"
His wife looks in Paddy's breast pocket and says "But there's forty
quid in here "
"Oh Yeah......I almost forgot, he shhhit in my pants too !"