Arse Spider: Tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it.
Audition the finger puppets: A single-act, one man show not suitable for children . Autograph the gusset. To allow the turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants.
Beef box: A container into which sausages are put.
Bum Goblin: A gnarled malevolent turd that jumps out behind you casting a painful spell on your ringpiece!
Chugnuts: Extremely large piles.
Crunchie: A sock worn the morning after being used as a wank-mop.
Disco fanny: The full strength flavour achieved after 6 hours on a dance floor in PVC trousers.
Ditch Pig: Affectionate term for an ugly fat girl.
Frog: A formidable blast from the spunk trumpet where the ladies cheeks puff out like a bullfrog's.
Drown some kittens: To drown a litter of small stools.
Face fannies: Sideburns.
Fizzy gravy: Rusty water, diahorrea.
Hand-to-gland combat: Vigorous three minute bout of gladiatorial combat involving a spam javelin.
Mexican lipstick: Embarrassing facial tide mark found after eating out lady who was up on the blocks.
Ming the merciless: Death by chocolate starfish.
Opera house: A large vagina, with heavy pink safety curtains.
Starfish Trooper: An Arsestronaut'..
Up on the blocks: Monthly MOT failure due to recurring leak under the Beatle Bonnet.
Wet as an otters pocket: Descriptive as to the moistness of a ladies kipper mitten.
X-Piles: Unwanted visitors from Uranus.