A gentleman died and arrived in hell. He was met by the Devil and was
told that in the new kinder gentler hell, each person is offered three
choices of torture. The Devil explained that these tortures run in 1000
year cycles and you could pick the cycle in which to begin.
So the Devil took the man to the first room where a man was hung up by
his feet and was being whipped with chains. The man said he did not
think that was where he wanted to start.
They proceeded to the next room where a man was hung up by his
arms and was being whipped by a Cat-O-Nine Tails. The man also declined this form of torture.
The third room had a man strapped to the wall naked and a very
beautiful young blonde woman was performing oral sex upon him.
The man told the Devil that this was more like it, and this was the one
he wanted. The Devil said "Are you sure? It lasts for 1000 years!"
The man assured him that this was the punishment he wanted.
So the Devil walked over to the young woman and said "You can go
now. I've found your replacement!"