i must leave you know...

[Mr. Mulder]

i fucked up

twice

went to a few places, had a few drinks and about half way through the night we stopped at this 80's bar where there was this girl who can only be described as a younger gwen stefani. she and her slutty friend were dancing and i was watching her from the bar, she walked off the dance floor, across the room to the bar, grabbed my arm and dragged me onto the dance floor and started pulling off all kinds of crazy sexy moves, shoving her arse into my groin, moving up and down me. given that this was a work night out and the guys from the office were there watching this was perhaps one of my finest if not the finest moment and my man ranking went right up.

unfortunately, i was born with the disability of being white and so i simply cannot dance. i am fully aware of this, its why i stick to standing at bars, i know my place. but when a *insert a sexier word than sexy* blonde pulls you by the arm you can't say no, how could anyone say no? so i just let it happen, i just sort of stood there while she was doing all kinds or orsum things up against me and for sometime this was working beautifully, i had a beer in one hand and the future mrs mulder rubbing against me, but then she asked me to dance with her when this song came on (which wasn't a sexy song like the first one) ...i simply bowed down. i explained to her my disposition and started to walk away, but then she grabbed me again and pulled me back and put her hands on my hips and tried to move them for me, this worked for a little while, but then she let go and i had to walk away

why must there be this formality of dancing before sexytime, why can't we just get straight to the raw bedroom action? or even fast forward that to the morning and watch them try to walk in a straight line while i think to my self how orsum i am, but no, the blockade exists, a cawkblawk if you will...

here's a perfect for internet posting pic as a light blurs out my face



as you can see she's bent down and gyrating against me, pushing my abdominal into her face and working her way down and then back up again and i'm just stood there taking it


...and the second fuck up was exactly the same thing, another blonde (this one was a bit shorter and had these thick emo glasses on, low cut top - she looked slutty as fuck!) except when i tried to walk away she put up a real fight! dragging me back and shouting in my ear (as it was very loud) "im not wasting my time here, get back here now" - but i just walked away like a little bitch ...there was a serious chance of sexy time with her as well, despite the dancing mishap i was still quite firmly in there, but she was with a group of mates and they were all leaving and she got pulled away

got in at 4am by my self, disappointed as anything - i don't deserve a penis, it should be taken away from me

[chalice]

Mega post Mulster. Kudos.

Welcome beck.

Spoiler: Show

Ewe faggot mong.

[Skweeky]

I am so disappointed in you mulder! God gives you a perfectly good, larger than average cawk; and what do you do?
You start whinging because you can't dance!

For Pete's sake!

Most women won't give a fuck about whether you can dance or not. If they asked you to dance they're OBVIOUSLY looking for a 'good time'

I am disgusted, that's what I am

[C-mos]

i feel sorry for u mulder

[Mr. Mulder]

Here, take this



...i won't be needing it anymore

[Skweeky]

It's people like him who make it difficult for us one night stand sluts

[enoughfakefiles]

At least you stayed out till late

[Skweeky]

Might as well have stayed in his bed

[Mr. Mulder]

i can't even look any of you in the avatar

Another night with skweeky's groin grabbingly orsum bewb pic.


...i'm leaving again, this time for a little bit longer... i shall be gyming harder and drinking even harderer and wont come back until i have something substantial to report, something to make up for all of this - to show this is serious business i've even put montage songs on my mp3 player.

i shall return in the near future, hopefully the very near future.


...until then xoxoxoxox

[Biggles]

Is this one of those epic fail things?