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Thread: When girls don't put out!!

  1. #1
    wazza100's Avatar Meh BT Rep: +2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    snowultra's Avatar Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    lol, i heard this one before. not quite this long, but the same idea.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    jayz707's Avatar the human BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    outside a cave
    LOL.... this is a nice one....

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    RedRansom's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +9BT Rep +9
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    Apr 2008
    don't know where
    yea i like it go on wazza100 thanks

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    maverick_andy's Avatar broken heart... BT Rep: +25BT Rep +25BT Rep +25BT Rep +25BT Rep +25
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    In this Burning Heart
    I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
    and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

    I am proud to be a part of this communities.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Hairbautt's Avatar *haircut
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Right on !
    Last edited by Alien5; Jun 6th, 2006 at
    06:36 PM..

  8. Funny S**t   -   #7
    kondrae's Avatar Trance BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    lol. really good one. haven't read a good joke like that one in a while

    Skitt's Law: "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself"

  9. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Septimus's Avatar -- Nicolas -- BT Rep: +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65BT Rep +65
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    haha really good!

  10. Funny S**t   -   #9
    Poster BT Rep: +2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    He's Smarter.. Lovely one

  11. Funny S**t   -   #10
    BANNED BT Rep: +20BT Rep +20BT Rep +20BT Rep +20
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Heard it before,It was still funny to read again though..

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