Letters Of Complaint.

[j2k4]

Dear cunt who flew out of me windae and broke my downstairs neighbour's shutter box,

you better deliver me my brand new shoes (yes, those you took on your feet and now say you 'lost'), or their retail value of €60, or I'll go to your whore of a mother and ask her for an explanation. Don't think I'm afraid of that. I couldn't give two fucking hoots about her or your failure of a father.

Clearly your parents are raising hoodlums as children; you, a pathetic excuse for a junkie, and your younger brother, soon to be following your very well-chosen footsteps.

I sincerely hope you rot in hell.

I wouldn't speak that way to a dog.






























Kids are another matter.

[chalice]

Dear Kev,

epistolise your posts in this thread or get the fuck outta Dodge.

Faithfully,

Chalice.

[j2k4]

Dear wetback,

Quit your fucking complaining about the entire country needing to be bilingual. Your reply that some are here legally is complete bullshit. The ones that are here legally would have been here for some time and now have the education to speak and write English so that is pure fucking shite that we should know or be forced to look at every fucking thing in Spanish.

I speak your dirty language when I am at a Jaliscos ordering my tacos. I may be a gringo, but they never correct me at a Jalisco because I know what the fuck I'm saying.

This is The United States of America, Speak English in public or get the fuck out! I don't want to hear some bleach-blonde, hooked-on-America, Mexican cunts side bar conversation about me in the grocery line. I know I'm fucking awesome to the max and your senorita is eye fucking me. I also don't like short, fat, Mexican bitches so they need to get off their high horse and stop wearing shit that shows their fat ass/legs/gut/face.

One last thing - quit dropping babies around every fucking corner. Our health care system is expensive enough as it is without you leeches milking it for free without paying a nickel in taxes!

I sincerely hope we build a 100 foot wall with machine guns triggered automatically by motion sensors, every 50 feet. Die.

Wtf is this shite.




No, really-


What is this

"...that is pure fucking shite..."

[Skiz]

It isn't a typo if that's what you're insinuating.

Shite.... it's pronounced like.... shiite but without the long "E".

[j2k4]

Dear old woman who invariably sits beside me on the train in the morning,

you smell of piss and cat and peppermint and hairspray and Chanel No.5. This heady mixture is worse than the sum of it's parts. Next time you sit beside me, I'm gonna find out if you're flammable.

You also breathe funny and talk to yourself on occasion. Stop it. Stop it now.

I remain your obedient servant,

Chalice (OfWeeWee).

My God.

Your life is far worse than any Dante could have imagined while suffering a triple astrological low.


Do you have a light.

[chalice]

It isn't a typo if that's what you're insinuating.

Shite.... it's pronounced like.... shiite but without the long "E".

Dear Skizo,

shite is pronounced as shight. So as to rhyme with light or blight or hermaphrodite.

C.

[100%]

To my beloved bed heater,

Please stop throwing your one day contact lenses like pieces of snot into the corner of the room.

Those jewels which you put on your eyes, every day have seen what you have seen.


With friendly regards,

the janitor.

[The Flying Cow]

100% is the wise surprise.


Or something.

[j2k4]

Dearest Russians of Israel -


It has come to my attention that over the past 20 years, some 1.5 million of you have made it into Israel.. That's all cool and co., except for the simple fact that most of you are FUCKING Russians who try to show no goddamn resemblance to the Jewish nation!
I mean, what would be the point coming to Israel, the state of the Jews, where most probably the idea would be to have a place that would resemble a Jewish people's place, with Jewish rituals/habits (at least to some extent), when most of you simply go about eating your stinky pig meat (no offense to all non-Jews who eat pig, it's just a phrase used to express how pissed I am), not get circumcised (at least some of you), never (EVER) go to shul, not even on the holiest day of them all (when even the most secular people give some sort of respect), eat bread on Passover (yes, some non-Russians do this too, but I'm not talking about them)..

Not only that, but you are probably responsible for the rise in prostitution, binge drinking, and non-kosher-food-eatage.. You fucking cunts. Why did you come here then!?

And no, the fact that some ancient grandfather of yours may have been Jewish.. The fact the Israeli government takes you as that is only because of the Nuremberg Laws.. Fuck sake, not good enough for me.

Go shove all your Russian shite back to Russia, and you can go with it. All your gangsta-egghead-tatted-cuntsters can get the hell out of here, we don't need you whatsoever.

On top of all that, you even brought in a grocery store "dedicated" to sell all your crap here, when you made sure all the workers would be Russians, selling non-Jewish shite which extracts any connection to the Jewish nation from you.. So ya'll can GTFO, right now.


k.thx.bai.

A promising career in diplomacy, up in flames.

We'll be ready to testify you were suffering the angst of youth/running a temperature and feverish at the time of your rant.

[j2k4]

...hermaphrodite. C.

Ooooh, and wasn't she a looker.