Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
He doesnt believe in god.God believes in him !
Chuck Norris wasn't born. He round-house kicked his way out.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.