At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Insist that your email address begins with ‘xena-warrior-princess’ or ‘elvis-the-king’.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write “FOR SEXUAL FAVORS”.
Finish all your sentences with, “In accordance with the prophecy.”
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
Sing along at the opera.
Pay off your MasterCard with your Visa.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle at work. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
When the money comes out of the cash machine, scream “I Won! I Won! Third time this week!”
When leaving the zoo, run towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
Write “Out to lunch” on your forehead
When someone says, “Have a nice day,” tell them you have other plans.
Send yourself a CandyGram.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send him to school as if nothing was wrong.
Write checks with Roman numerals.
Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias.
Leaf through a National Geographic and draw clothes on everybody.
Drive to the store in reverse.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Read the dictionary backwards and look for hidden messages.
Bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room.
Stare at people through the points of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
Make up a language and stop someone to ask for directions.
Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face, “There’s more to them than meets the eye.”
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Talk to your fish.
Have a tea party with your pets.
Start conversations with the words, “Did you ever wonder why…”
Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
dont use any punctuation