A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and
says, I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your Mother and I
are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the father says. 'We're
sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Leeds and tell her.'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. 'No-way
they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.' She calls
Scotland immediately, and screams at her father, 'You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
My brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?' and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay,' he says,
'they're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.'