Read this today in The Guardian , thought it was worth a mention:
(PS Any Turkey fans out there I'm not having a go, more having a go at the presses treatment of Alpay..)What the tabloids (should) have said
EVIL ALPAY BUILDS DEATH STAR
Controversial bully-boy defender Alpay has revealed that he plans to mobilise a vast armoured death star as part of his ongoing imperial assualt on English football.
"These are just the kind of things that happen in the game," breathed the black cape-swathed Turk. "In time you will all kneel before me - or die."
The mask wearing thug is rumoured to have stationed his moon-size military facilty in the peaceful Endor system, ideally placed for a strike on England's Hertfordshire training base. However, sources inside the FA have suggested that Alpay's death star may not yet be fully operational, leaving its core open to an attack led perhaps by jedi master David Beckham.