Bi-annual there's too much trading and not enough giving , givng away stuff thread*

[megabyteme]

The difference between us is the fact that I did not dwell in self-pity, nor wait for someone to solve my problems. I worked. And worked. And worked some more. When I wasn't at work, I was in school. At one point, I ran a lawn care business that maintained 50 weekly customers, I was a full-time student, and I made deliveries during the middle of the night. I kept pushing forward with the expectation that I would someday have a better life. It took an amazing amount of effort, and I did numerous jobs that I ABSOLUTELY hated. Without family, and no one to turn to, mistakes and misfortunes (car breakdowns, getting sick, etc.) struck me much harder than if I had a solid foundation under me.

Ultimately, I used my hardship as a motivator to get as far past that existence as I possibly could. You, on the other hand, continue to spiral further, and further, and further INTO your "disability". You focus on what you CAN'T do, instead of what you CAN.


I take offense to your existence because you are what I could have been if I gave up and bathed in self-pity- only I would have been homeless and starving. Literally. Assuming everything you have said is true, you have the existence of a fucking veal. Get out and live. Face life. Stand up and be a fucking man. Find some things that you are proud of, and face your difficulties head-on. There are many who argue that Asperger's is a made-up, phony disease. Wouldn't you feel pretty fucking stupid if your diagnosis turned out to be quackery, and that NOTHING was wrong with you except you were a spoiled brat whose parents did not make grow up? Consider that.

Now quit bothering me.

[OlegL]

I take offense to your existence because you are what I could have been if I gave up and bathed in self-pity

Really? Okay.

[mjmacky]

CAUTION: REAL-LIFE POSTED IN SPOILER TAGS. THIS IS MAINLY MEANT FOR MACKY, BUT IT MAY BE OF VALUE TO THOSE WHO HAVE A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. READ ON ONLY IF THIS IS OF INTEREST/HELP TO YOU.

Spoiler: Show

The short story is that I told him I do not want anything from him except for a photo album. My step-mother will be around for SEVERAL decades, so it is mostly a moot point, anyway. She's healthier than most 25 year-olds. Honestly, he has been of NO value to me. Had I never met him, my life would probably be 10-15 years ahead of where it is now. I will turn 40 in October, I am a new father (18 months tomorrow), and just now finishing my Master's. I should have been to this point by 25. Unfortunately, I spent all of those years trying to build the life I have now. I have a wonderful wife, twins, a nice house, an amazing education, and kind In-laws. I have nothing to do with my blood relatives. Not all of them are "bad" people, but there are too many entanglements with those who are.

I will gain a bit of peace when he's no longer around. He knows he is not welcome around my family- and I did (recently after 12 years of absolutely NO contact) give him a shot to stand up, and be a man. He could not admit to doing me wrong (he actually RAN out of my house when I brought it up). Since he does not recognize his failings, and the damage he did, I have to believe he has never learned what acceptable human behavior is. I've worked hard to not be him, and I will not allow him to poison my family with his presence.

We can take this to PM if you want to go into more details, macky. We are both survivors who have pushed ourselves forward in spite of our beginnings. I've posted this much in the open forums because I hope it may help someone else realize that bad family members can poison you life, and keep you down. I've seen too many people who have had their whole lives impaired by holding on to family who make their lives WORSE. It takes an amazing amount of strength to throw away everything for hopes of a healthy life, but I can say it is DEFINITELY worth the struggles involved.

Hope these words help someone...

You've got entanglements in the nuclear family, those are tricky to deal with. I'll follow suit and embed my emofest in a spoiler (the label is to deter reading)

Spoiler: Show

I think I might have caught a luckier break than you in the later part of my life, given that my father was such a dick, he isolated himself from all of his ex wives, his siblings, all his children, you name it. There is not a single member in the family nuclear or distant that actually keeps in touch with him. I spent childhood back and forth between parents, the short version goes like this...
Father left, lived with mother, mother diagnosed with cancer, lived with father, mother maintains remission, father ejected us from home to move back with mother. There's a plethora of isolated spots of crazy shit going on in the midst of the main plot line, but it's way too much to even summarize let alone detail.

Point being I ended up going through a transformation through that experience. I was jaded before I hit my teens. Sure it built up my character, but I have absolutely no idea of the damage it has caused me, for instance why I find it so easy to cut ties with people close to me (e.g. my brother), but I have ceased to care. For the most part, I don't even think about him. I don't know how long it would take before any of us found out he's dead. I'm pretty sure the only person on his will is whoever he's got buying his bullshit these days.

So as far as the struggles being worth it, I it's a mixed bag. The perspective on life I have now, I couldn't even be forced to give up. But the bliss of ignorance and emotional convenience that could have been awaiting me might have provided me a more joyful life. Maybe I would have wanted kids. Too many ifs, and the paths all vanish below the hill tops.

The funny thing about inlaws though, you can always stay outside of their internal conflicts. Even if they're more dysfunctional than your family, they're not dysfunctional with you.

[Quarterquack]

Well isn't this a dandy topic. I'm going through some of this crap myself currently.

Spoiler: Show

Short version goes: Dad's a bona fide genius (no exaggeration), and always wanted me to be a smaller version of himself. Not a better one. Just a part of him that lives on, a trophy of sorts. Always wanted me to be a physician someday. I tried following the footsteps he laid for me for quite a while, getting the grades he wanted me to, talking and impressing the people he saw fit, basically living the life he needed me to. All the while mother dearest struggled to teach me that success isn't measurable and helped me spend all my summers with my grandad (her dad - an old school armchair philosopher in the US, at the time), and that's pretty much where I acquired every part of who I am today. I eventually hit age 15, got into an accelerated med school program with my grades, and dropped out (at the time for personal and health issues). I didn't think about going back, till the chance presented itself a second and a third time, the latter of which I picked up on the opportunity, only to have an epiphany that while I am the person my father wanted me to be, I am also who I wanted to be all along regardless of my enrollment in some pretentious school surrounded by baboons beneath me.

Called it quits last summer for the final time, had a fall out with the old man. He wrote our entire family off, blaming my mother for the decision I finally came to, saying she brought me up in a certain way to spite at him for something that happened thirty years ago. And while it may be true that she found some justice and solace in my final siding with her, and that she has held her gripes that long, I know that she never tried to impose upon me anything than what she truly thought was best for me (and out of that I picked what I saw fit). The cook's currently off with a couple of new flings, to my mother's utter dismay.

Between my ailing mother's deteriorating health, her mother's deteriorating life span, my younger brothers' upbringing, I'm practically supporting what the weasel should've taken care of. It gets to the point where I have no time or energy to spare resenting him. So my resolution is not to care about anyone. I have for a couple of times thought about taking a very promising post in the US, and letting the sick die, and the hopeless persevere, but I can't help but feel some pity towards them, if for nothing, but being in a situation as hopeless as mine. It hurts every time they say something that irks me, though. I keep thinking my pity is unwarranted on people who seem to alienate good nature. But yeah, I've really had no time to batter a cow to death or fork a paddle boat to splinters. Decided that what's best is giving everybody a year on my shoulder, before I start living my own life. It would be terribly insulting and hypocritical for me to put us all in this situation, if not to stand by my beliefs all the way through.

Ramifications to my resolution, anyone? Can't help but feel that it's a damned if I do, and damned if I don't situation. No offense, MBM, but I can't hang on till I'm 40 - I'm just past half that age. I can carry my own weight just fine. So what would you change if you were to go back?

[megabyteme]

Let's take this to PM's...

[mjmacky]

Let's take this to PM's...

It officially became a Breakfast Club thread

edit: I call dibs on Judd Nelson

Darth has to be Emilio Estevez

MBM gets free pick from the rest. I would give him the redhead but then Oleg would try to fuck him.

[megabyteme]

It officially became a Breakfast Club thread

edit: I call dibs on Judd Nelson

Darth has to be Emilio Estevez

MBM gets free pick from the rest. I would give him the redhead but then Oleg would try to fuck him.

Well, I'd prefer to end it all than be a mid-80's Anthony M Hall, so I'll take Paul Gleason (the hard-core teacher), although I think Rings would make a much better Molly Ringwald.

[mjmacky]

It officially became a Breakfast Club thread

edit: I call dibs on Judd Nelson

Darth has to be Emilio Estevez

MBM gets free pick from the rest. I would give him the redhead but then Oleg would try to fuck him.

Well, I'd prefer to end it all than be a mid-80's Anthony M Hall, so I'll take Paul Gleason (the hard-core teacher), although I think Rings would make a much better Molly Ringwald.

I was going by story, but if it's by choice then I'd be captain crunch sandwich girl (Sheedy), withholding the pixie sticks of course.

[enviouz]

MBM gets free pick from the rest. I would give him the redhead but then Oleg would try to fuck him.

Thats wayyyyyyy to damn funny but most likely true.

[pastoral]

It seems not very difficult to receive an invite.

I guess you missed the part form him being from Romania.

Romania:

• AceTorrents (signup)
• BCG (signup - some dynamic IPs)
• BitMeTV (not sure yet)
• DIDIDave (global)
• Exigo (global - some dynamic IPs)
• Fux0r (global)
• GFT (signup)
• Lossless World (global)
• Pedro's BTMusic (global)
• PolishTracker (partially: 79.112.0.1 - 79.119.255.254)
• RevTT (signup)
• SCC (all around, but there are exceptions)
• TorrentBytes (signup - it always says "user limit reached")
• What.cd (IRC interview)
• x264 (signup)
  
  Maybe he can get around that somehow by using a server or something but in my mind that would make him dishonest and therefore not the precise definition of a "good user".

Why did you edit your post? HAHAHAHAHAHA
I just logged in this site by using the other computer that always using proxy at someone's place. This makes you think that I am dishonest and from Romania, and do no fit the definition of "a good user"?
You judge people from you own mind.
Let me tell you who can not be trusted. That is you.
You are such a "Fuck".
IdolEyes787, Fuck you in the shower, and then have snacks!