Critically Evaluate the last movie you saw.

**Tmaster** · 10-12-2006, 02:59 PM

Please, tell us what is the latest movie you watched?

**chalice** · 12-04-2011, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by clocker

The Ides of March- George Clooney, Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling changed clothes after Drive but walked the same character into The Ides of March.
Seriously, the "extended closeup of a grim face- no dialogue" seems to be his only schtick lately.

Clooney plays a Democratic Governor vying for the White House.
He is a white Obama, gifted at rousing populist anger and promising change.
Naturally, he has feet of clay.
Gosling is second in command of the campaign and has to clean up the muddy footprints.

This is another Clooney vanity project (he also produced it) and it's just not as interesting as Good Night and Good Luck.
Everybody thinks politicians are sleazy empty shells these days, the machinations/inside deals of Ides aren't a surprise or particularly shocking- and no where near as luridly bizarre as the current Cain/Gingritch candidacies- so I'm left wondering what the point is.
Ides is basically a well produced visual edition of the Huffington Post.

Note to scriptwriters everywhere:
Simply panning in to Ryan Gosling's face and having him stare mute at the camera is NOT A PLOT, nor is it CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.
In normal life you'd think someone who silently deadpanned like that was either a psychopath or retarded...possibly both.
If you can't find words for Gosling to say, hire Aaron Sorkin but I'll be damned if I'm going to do your work for you.
"Is that look supposed to be steely resolve or did he eat Taco Bell for lunch? Aaarrgh! I don't know! Ryan, you're SO enigmatic!"

Enigmatic my sweet ass.
Gosling has perfected the art of getting roles where he doesn't have to learn any lines.

I had just finished stealing this film when I read the above.

Not a fucking sliver of a chance of me watching it now. I don't know whether to thank you or call you a cunt.

Thanks, you cunt.

**clocker** · 12-04-2011, 11:30 PM

You're welcome.
My work here progresses.
What are you pirating next?
I'd like to get it first and ruin it for you.

No problem, really, happy to do it.

**mjmacky** · 12-05-2011, 05:48 AM

Originally Posted by clocker

You're welcome.
My work here progresses.
What are you pirating next?
I'd like to get it first and ruin it for you.

No problem, really, happy to do it.

I'm pretty sure his next title is "Somewhere under the Rainbow" (1995).

**megabyteme** · 12-05-2011, 06:26 AM

Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'm pretty sure his next title is "Somewhere under the Rainbow" (1995).

From the review on IMDB:

This movie features real Hungarian midgets (dwarfs, actually... check with OED) and real Hungarian people. Character names include Zoltan, Li'l Huggies, and Panther. Panther is by far the most talented actor in the film, if only because of his body. He stands, by my guess, about 2'6" tall, has testicles about as big aroiund as a dime (that's US currency), and a penis about the size of a pencil eraser. It did not get hard (or soft, I couldn't tell which state it was in in the scene he was in), but one of the tall folks did indeed lick it one time.

There was no discernable plot, but that was probably because the dialogue was not dubbed; only the "ooh's" and "aah's" were dubbed. And, as most fans of adult cinema know, plot is not one of driving forces behind the genre. To that matter, neither is dialogue.

Anyway, my friend Rich masturbated to Panther's scene while listening to Weird Al's "Polka Party" album as I and four other people looked on. He wiped up with a dirty sock I found under the couch.

I give this movie a 10.

Something tells me you already have this on Blu-ray (signed collector's edition, ofc).

**mjmacky** · 12-05-2011, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by megabyteme

From the review on IMDB:

This movie features real Hungarian midgets (dwarfs, actually... check with OED) and real Hungarian people. Character names include Zoltan, Li'l Huggies, and Panther. Panther is by far the most talented actor in the film, if only because of his body. He stands, by my guess, about 2'6" tall, has testicles about as big aroiund as a dime (that's US currency), and a penis about the size of a pencil eraser. It did not get hard (or soft, I couldn't tell which state it was in in the scene he was in), but one of the tall folks did indeed lick it one time.

There was no discernable plot, but that was probably because the dialogue was not dubbed; only the "ooh's" and "aah's" were dubbed. And, as most fans of adult cinema know, plot is not one of driving forces behind the genre. To that matter, neither is dialogue.

Anyway, my friend Rich masturbated to Panther's scene while listening to Weird Al's "Polka Party" album as I and four other people looked on. He wiped up with a dirty sock I found under the couch.

I give this movie a 10.

Something tells me you already have this on Blu-ray (signed collector's edition, ofc).

I really wanted to review it as well, but would need to watch it or at least grab the Spark Notes/Cliff Notes. The reviews could be taken in a completely different direction, does anybody remember Tuscan Milk?

**Etcomment** · 12-05-2011, 02:44 PM

Rise of the plants Apes

**IdolEyes787** · 12-05-2011, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by chavis

I had just finished stealing this film when I read the above.

Not a fucking sliver of a chance of me watching it now.

I would say that there might be some hidden lesson in morality here but obviously there isn't.
................
Gettin' Square (2003) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0341376/

A surprisingly enjoyable and gentle Aussie spin on the sort of crime comedies that Guy Richie use to churn out. Stars a young and considerably less buff Sam Worthington as an ex-con caught between trying to toe the straight and narrow and his past refusing to make that an easy thing to do.

I found it leagues better than the modest 6.6 on IMDB .Even though it's predictable there are some great characters ,more than a few laughs and the ending is sure to satisfy all but the most jaded of viewers.
Certainly worth a look even if it's unlikely you'll be adding it to your greatest films ever list.

Private Resort(1985) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089839/

If you think the landscape of the film world hasn't changed much in the last 25 years look no further than this very early entry in Johnny Depp's career.
Before the internet films like this were produced to titillate teenagers .Well as bad as it is ,and Private Resort certainly is bad , at least "sex comedy" back then wasn't afraid of the "R' rating delivered on that promise.

Match it up with Tom Hank's Bachelor Party and see how all great things have humble beginnings.
Like playing second banana to Rob Morrow or Adrian Zmed.