Critically Evaluate the last movie you saw.

[megabyteme]

As hard as it may be to believe, but even the sheer screen presence and unhinged groinal area of Mr. Damme could not right the ship on this massive floater.

The most offensive thing about this (besides the script) is that if you do not like the movie, it must be that you are just a fanatical Bible-thumping purist. Not true. This is just insultingly bad. The CGI creatures weren't even the root of all evil, as Keanu's recent 47 Ronin, with all of its unnecessary add-ins, bests it 10-fold. As weak as 47's story was, it had lots more going for it than Noah.

I even like most of the actors in Noah- they were the bigger draw to the show than the story. Who really gives two squirts about Noah's story, anyway? The acting was fine, TBH. Although it would not have mattered since the characters were all one-dimensional. Shit actors would not have hurt this. The problem exists from lack of interesting storytelling- not the fact that there were silly CGI characters, or that it strayed from the Bible.

[Stehle]

Just watched Noah. Without exaggeration, one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. Not a single positive thing to say about it, TBH.

If Emma Watson had been sucking my balls and Jennifer Connelly tongued my ass through the entire film, their efforts could not save this. It really is that bad.

So, if I understand you right... I should just cancel the 1080p download?

Wait! If I viewed it as a parody or comedy might that work?

(Thanks Meg, pains back and I needed a good a good laugh today.)

[IdolEyes787]

As hard as it may be to believe, but even the sheer screen presence and unhinged groinal area of Mr. Damme could not right the ship on this massive floater.

The most offensive thing about this (besides the script) is that if you do not like the movie, it must be that you are just a fanatical Bible-thumping purist. Not true. This is just insultingly bad. The CGI creatures weren't even the root of all evil, as Keanu's recent 47 Ronin, with all of its unnecessary add-ins, bests it 10-fold. As weak as 47's story was, it had lots more going for it than Moses.

I even like most of the actors in Moses- they were the bigger draw to the show than the story. Who really gives two squirts about Moses' story, anyway? The acting was fine, TBH. Although it would not have mattered since the characters were all one-dimensional. Shit actors would not have hurt this. The problem exists from lack of interesting storytelling- not the fact that there were silly CGI characters, or that it strayed from the Bible.

Noah.Moses was some other water related Old Testament guy.

Since the Tour de France starts today(poor little Mark Cavendish) I suggest you watch this.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3511812/

It's not so much about cycling as it is about corruption and power.

[megabyteme]

It lacks all creativity needed for parody, and is simply too boring to work on any other unintentional levels.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Noah. Moses was some other water related Old Testament guy.

See, I did that intentionally to show I'm no Bible thumper.

[IdolEyes787]

See, I did that intentionally to show I'm no Bible thumper.

Yeah I was worried for a minute that you were.

[megabyteme]

As for watching Noah for a laugh when you are in pain, I'd liken this idea to giving yourself a vegetable oil enema while suffering from a bad case of food poisoning.

[IdolEyes787]

As for watching Noah for a laugh when you are in pain, I'd liken this idea to giving yourself a vegetable oil enema while suffering from a bad case of food poisoning.

Just so I'm getting this straight,so Noah is basically on a par with The Shawshank Redemption then?

[Stehle]

As for watching Noah for a laugh when you are in pain, I'd liken this idea to giving yourself a vegetable oil enema while suffering from a bad case of food poisoning.

Just so I'm getting this straight,so Noah is basically on a par with The Shawshank Redemption then?

HEY! I kind of liked that one. (SK's novella too: Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from the "Different Seasons" book.)


As far as rain goes for the "Noah" disaster this may make the movie a little more bearable for me...



FRL.jpg

[IdolEyes787]

Just so I'm getting this straight,so Noah is basically on a par with The Shawshank Redemption then?

HEY! I kind of liked that one. (SK's novella too: Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from the "Different Seasons" book.)

I'm rifting.Don't bug me.

[megabyteme]

As far as rain goes for the "Noah" disaster this may make the movie a little more bearable for me...



FRL.jpg

Well, the green 28oz enema concept will change how I think of rappers referring to "making it 'rain' " on strippers...