Last one to post wins the internets (archived)

[megabyteme]

BTW, nice PSH write-up here: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/03/mo...t-46.html?_r=0

[chalice]

Disappointment? I'm a fucking catastrophe and don't you go forgetting it. What I wouldn't give to be a simple disappointment.

I've been up since half four this morning, getting stoned and drinking wine and watching Star Trek TNG. I'm hungry, but I cannot be arsed foraging for food. Got a haircut yesterday and the shocks of grey which fell away were shocking altogether. Got drunk on my own in a bar full of bachelorette partyers. It was horrific, from what I recall. Woke up this morning covered in cake. Yes, cake. Bed sheets and clothes from yesterday looked like a painting by a four year old.

I wish you were my mum. You wouldn't stand for this kinda nonsense. You'd make me chicken soup and massage my bald spot with jasmine or some such.

Don't feel bad, there's loads of action verbs in the above.

Did I miss the results from that job you got but were concerned about the piss test?

This piss test, though I woulda failed it in style, didn't concern me. There was never gonna be one and there are ways of preparing for such corporate fascist restrictions. Nothing a few buckets of cranberry juice, given requisite notice, can't exorcise from your circulatory systems.

I was deeply concerned about the stipulated security screening, though, as the cosmos and the British legislative system soon proved, I needed have been. I'd been busted for marijuana possession a few months back, for which I had a police caution imposed upon me. Turns out, there exist three types of security checks available to companies. Basic, Standard and Enhanced. I wasn't sure which one I'd be undergoing, so I was shitting breezeblocks for my first month. They only ran the Basic check, which doesn't disclose cautions, so The Supreme Haile Selassie, patron saint of wopped-out weed worshippers, was clearly smiling down on your humble yet exemplary narrator. Six weeks in and the SAS haven't barnstormed the building, so I reckon I'm pretty much in the clear.

All's well that ends well. Though, of course, nothing ever ends.

[megabyteme]

All's well that ends well. Though, of course, nothing ever ends.

That's good gnus, my friend. Could not remember if the job became official. Block one in the rebuilding, then. I've considered what my life would be like if I could not handle the daily challenges present in Casa MBM. Would be a very similar looking boat...

[wyld]

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/wo...qi-pupils.html

They all passed

[Mr. Mulder]

what it do, brohams

some office cunt has used up all the milk so im having to eat bone dry coco-pops like a savage, its probably the worst day of my life. ever.

[megabyteme]

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/wo...qi-pupils.html

They all passed

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria evolved from its previous incarnation as Al Qaeda in Iraq, but recently Al Qaeda’s central leadership disavowed the group, which has taken on an increasingly important role in the fighting in Syria, as well as in Iraq.

Should your instructor blow up your terrorist cell while training, your group will be disavowed. This message will self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...1...Duh-duhnt-duh. duhnuntduh....

[megabyteme]

Canadians...

icetruck.jpg

http://9gag.com/gag/awr39jW?ref=fsidebar

[IdolEyes787]

I was made to illustrate a point for a commercial.

Anyway for the reasonably reasonable among us, luckily the actions of a small group of wackos does not define a people.

yarahmad20121023132509087.jpg

Or in your case.

bed523476f07c617dc25a3bade4d52ac12f03f7146aa1f131165c7101cd83309.jpg

[Artemis]

Subtle.....

[TheFoX]

Very...