Last one to post wins the internets (archived)

[mjmacky]

You have to understand, it's kind of stressful remaining in a Ph.D. program, let alone realizing you need to drop out of it. That's probably when everything turns to shit and you need to gas and shoot up a local cineplex.

[megabyteme]

I was in Walmart today buying dog food, and saw no less than 6 individuals wearing "vintage" Batman shirts. It was only a matter of time before one of their heads turned batshit...

[Artemis]

In other news, my posting style may have seemed more 'pointed' over the past few days on account of my car committing suicide.

[manker]

What kind of farmer are you.
A car

You should be going to the shops in a tractor, holding up the traffic and burning red diesel at the rate of a gallon every five miles whilst bobbing up and down in the cab, chewing on a long piece of grass. All the while not giving a single fuck.
Failing that, a blue and white classic Landrover.

[manker]

Where's mbm's mate when I need a home remedy.

I've been in the garden today. pulling up grass and weeds and stinging nettles without gloves. I've got all manner of poison in my hands and it's making typing hard.
My missus hasn't got a clue how to fix them and I have to play beer pong later

[Skweeky]

Are you a complete noob? Put some vinegar on a cotton bud and put it on your hands. (You might want to avoid any open wounds though)

[Artemis]

What kind of farmer are you.
A car

You should be going to the shops in a tractor, holding up the traffic and burning red diesel at the rate of a gallon every five miles whilst bobbing up and down in the cab, chewing on a long piece of grass. All the while not giving a single fuck.
Failing that, a blue and white classic Landrover.

Second to last thing first, we don't have agricultural diesel here in Nouveau Zeeland, if diesel is being used off-road you simply don't have to pay the shameful R.U.C.'s (Road User Charges) which is the equivalent of the government turning up on horse, while wearing a dark cape, a mask over it's face and a low slung hat, and sticking two flintlock pistols into your carriage and demanding your money or your life.
You also pay double to initially register plus a third more per year in registration fees for a diesel vehicle, so although diesel fuel is cheaper, with the attendant taxes plus the higher maintenance costs on a diesel vehicle, it is actually uneconomic to have one if it is for the kind of heavy use (and abuse) we do.

I misspoke when I said 'car', the last 'car' we had a poor little astra kept on defenestrating itself on our less than even driveway such that it is. Two exhaust systems later we faced facts and sold the hamstermobile back to the urban environment it was more comfortable in, poor thing it'll never be the same.

The 'car' the committed suicide was the jeep our main 4X4 and towing vehicle. We had just done an oil change and service, and done all the right things put a pre oil change cleaner through, put in a high quality synthetic oil and a decent aftermarket filter and about a week later there was a knock high up in the motor at first just a tick but it got louder, we booked it in at the mechanic and by the second day it was REALLY concerning, it sounded like someone smashing two dustbin lids together. We took it back to them and they said it sounds like it is high up probably the cam followers or a cam-lifter has eaten itself (I'm nodding sagely while thinking oh fuck), so they said it is 'probably' OK, bring it back tomorrow.

Come tomorrow we start off by now VERY SLOWLY, and the 'car' is making this truly hideous noise, and finally get to the mechanic, we left it there for them to work on and left in our other 'car' a smaller 4X4, a honda CRV (but this is just a family vehicle with a 4 wheel drive system, it is only a 2.0l and doesn't have a tow bar so it's a bit ).

Back to the mechanic, who rang up the next morning to say that the jeep wouldn't start, the motor had seized, hence my 'committed suicide', apparently the 'cam lifter' noise was a cracked piston just before it finally broke turning that engine into a large block of modern art for the moment, it is a $5,000 repair job which I coincidentally don't have in my back pocket right at the minute.

[manker]

That is slightly gutting, mate, but at least you restored my faith in NZ farm owners. My missus has got the Mazda equivalent of your CRV, btw.
They're quite nice to drive and pretty hardy, too. I've used it loads for ferrying about big stuff.

Still think you need a tractor for milk runs and I'd be slightly happier if you had a blue and white Landrover - but I guess you can't live up to all of my expectations.

I enjoyed reading that in a social voyeur type of way

[megabyteme]

Are you a complete noob? Put some vinegar on a cotton bud and put it on your hands. (You might want to avoid any open wounds though)

Vinegar, or a mix of bleach and ammonia*.




*Really bad, don't do it unless you are Oleg.

[manker]

It's still hurting now