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Thread: I had a better morning than Mary

  1. #1
    Squeamous's Avatar Poster
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    I woke up feeling fully refreshed from a beautiful, idyllic fantastical dream of epic proportions!

    In my dream were a hoard of hot, topless men, each vying to make me breakfast. I was all like 'dewds, I'm hungry, I can take everything you have to give, don't fight!' and they were all like 'Grrr *jostle* *flex*'
    One in particular took my fancy, and I recall vividly sitting on his lap and feeling his muscles, and he was nibbling my ear and neck and saying FILTHY things to me that would make you ladies blush, but not I, because I'm made of sterner stuff than that .
    Anyway, I couldn't sit there all day wriggling around on hot guy's lap and giggling coquettishly because I suddenly remembered I had to go Go-karting! Next thing I know I'm zooming along country roads and beaches so fast the kart is almost shaking itself apart. I zoom past 3 lads, one of whom is freckly and ginger, and we race and I win!! At first I worry about not having any brakes but then some appear and I come to a slow, gentle stop and at that point wake up.

    How orsom is that!

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    IdolEyes787's Avatar Et tu,Bluto?
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    Not to judge but the first part seems more like a nightmare to me.
    "Go out and feel the course. Burn the uphill and soar the downhills. When you burn, you say soar. And when you soar, you say burn".

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    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Not to judge but the first part seems more like a nightmare to me.
    Frankly?

    Utterly terrifying
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Squeamous's Avatar Poster
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    Poofs!

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    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squeamous View Post
    Poofs!

    Ha! Look who is talking - you were the one dreaming of scantily clad men.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


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    manker's Avatar effendi
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    I wouldn't mind if a herd of hot men wanted to make me breakfast.
    I'd think of them as robots and sample their wares regardless of their wanton advances.

    I draw the line at go-karting though, that's almost as poofy as paintballing
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

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    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by manker View Post
    I wouldn't mind if a herd of hot men wanted to make me breakfast.
    I'd think of them as robots and sample their wares regardless of their wanton advances.

    I draw the line at go-karting though, that's almost as poofy as paintballing
    Never tried paintballing it does look - tried go-karting at a youth club convention when I was 15 and got banned, our whole club were banned come to think of it. We lived in the back of beyond where police were thin on the ground and we all had (fairly ancient) cars and motor bikes and things. We pushed those karts to the limit...one caught fire a couple crashed and we got booted after only a few laps. It was an injustice. Head of the Youth Club whatever it was mentioned it in his final rally speech, called it jolly high jinks..... I think go karting would be OK if the engines were a decent size and you didn't get banned if they catch fire.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  8. Lounge   -   #8
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by manker View Post
    I wouldn't mind if a herd of hot men wanted to make me breakfast.
    I'd think of them as robots and sample their wares regardless of their wanton advances.

    I draw the line at go-karting though, that's almost as poofy as paintballing
    Never tried paintballing it does look - tried go-karting at a youth club convention when I was 15 and got banned, our whole club were banned come to think of it. We lived in the back of beyond where police were thin on the ground and we all had (fairly ancient) cars and motor bikes and things. We pushed those karts to the limit...one caught fire a couple crashed and we got booted after only a few laps. It was an injustice. Head of the Youth Club whatever it was mentioned it in his final rally speech, called it jolly high jinks..... I think go karting would be OK if the engines were a decent size and you didn't get banned if they catch fire.
    That sounds a lot like what Grease would have been if it had been written by Irvine Welsh - but with slightly less heroin and aids.

    I imagine you as Kenickie.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

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    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by manker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Biggles View Post

    Never tried paintballing it does look - tried go-karting at a youth club convention when I was 15 and got banned, our whole club were banned come to think of it. We lived in the back of beyond where police were thin on the ground and we all had (fairly ancient) cars and motor bikes and things. We pushed those karts to the limit...one caught fire a couple crashed and we got booted after only a few laps. It was an injustice. Head of the Youth Club whatever it was mentioned it in his final rally speech, called it jolly high jinks..... I think go karting would be OK if the engines were a decent size and you didn't get banned if they catch fire.
    That sounds a lot like what Grease would have been if it had been written by Irvine Welsh - but with slightly less heroin and aids.

    I imagine you as Kenickie.
    This was the early 1970s...we were mainly only smoking weed back then and petrol was 7p a litre
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


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    Quarterquack's Avatar sprclfrglstcxpldcs BT Rep: +3
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    Considering that it's been shown that the human mind cannot construct faces, you actually have met every man you fondled in your dream.

    Also, I'm sure the dream part is the only lie you told.
    Ellipses go here.

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