Can anybody talk me down from buying a bicycle?

[Something Else]

That was your trashy furniture.

[IdolEyes787]

The paycheck is spent on bike parts and protein powder and whatever is left over goes to the necessities of life.
Jesus grow up and start living like a responsible adult will you.

[chalice]

Bikes don't kill people, accidents do.

Idol, lay your flesh bare and regale us with tales of your hideous accident, which plainly left you bereft of optimism and taste in bicycles. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I feel all I know of you is a muscular propensity, too much celluloid, and a stalwart refusal to for all things stupid.

Let me in, or I'll blow the bloody doors off your bike to the max.

I've not only crashed in every way known to Man I'm pretty sure that I invented a few new ones.Uphill,downhill,alone,in groups,at starts, at finishes,into moving objects and stationary ones.I've even managed to crash standing still.
The one for the lingering injury though was on a sweeping left turn right before the finish of a race in a meaningless sprint for 11th place or something. I was second wheel which would usual be relatively safe but the guy in front of me suddenly decided that he needed a closer view of the pavement.I have clear memory of sliding to a stop and looking over to see my bike a few yards away, still had the shoes in the pedals but thankfully minus my feet.

That taught me that basically life's a joke and at the end of the day the best you can really hope for is the company of people who make fun of your misery and a back room with some trashy furniture in it.

Fantastic. That's stupider than war.

[IdolEyes787]

Fantastic. That's stupider than war.

If only I'd had the foresight to strap a bomb to me.

[mjmacky]

You know how long it took me to notice that you guys decked out Idol's ride with truck nuts and Daves, and that they weren't just replies? A full 2 minutes.

I've only had one bike accident myself. I don't do sports stuff with bikes, so it was a recreational/utility type accident. It's really hard to describe, so I'm aiding the explanation with a MS Paint depiction on my laptop.

foreshadows.jpg

Before I had Lasik surgery, I was pretty blind without glasses or contacts (-5.75 prescription strength). I went out riding to Blockbuster one night, and decided to do so without any vision correction aids. It was close by, and I just wanted to jump out quickly to avoid late fees. I made it there just fine, but on my way back I was racing along the sidewalk. The particular section of road was not lit, but on I sped. I didn't spot the turn in the sidewalk and slammed straight into the sign post with the left side of my body, the bike traveled another 50-75 feet (like 20-25 meters?) without me. I had bruising on my inner thigh, pectoral, swelling of my face, for a little while. I somehow just caught a nice fine edge, hurt like hell and shocked the shit out of me.

[IdolEyes787]

Adult bikes are vehicles and don't belong on the sidewalk.The Universe was merely telling you that you're a putz.
If I was the Universe I would have also had a dog come along and piss on you as you lay there.

[mjmacky]

Adult bikes are vehicles and don't belong on the sidewalk.The Universe was merely telling you that you're a putz.
If I was the Universe I would have also had a dog come along and piss on you as you lay there.

It might be different in Canada, but personally, I put very little faith in the American driver.

[Artemis]

I have done some really horrible things to my body through various sports, including a partial malfunction while skydiving which didn't end well, daddy teaching his four year old to drive the nice big boat while I'm bringing my jetski in to dock, surprise! and various other assorted bad karma including being the meat in a car sandwich, but my one contribution to the this is going to hurt from a bike perspective was when I was a teen. I decided to ride down to a local park/nature reserve, this only had a grassy path and it had been raining lightly, the incline down to the park was steep, the brakes were wet, there was just no stopping power and there were these HUGE volcanic rocks dotted all over the countryside in the park. I avoided most but not all of the rocks, I hit one squarely, impacted the frame and buckled it right back to the point where it had arced up by about 15 degrees and left handlebar rammed straight into my leg. The crush injury caused my thigh to swell to 29" and stayed that way for over a month, I looked severely deformed. Those were the days......

[mjmacky]

I have done some really horrible things to my body through various sports, including a partial malfunction while skydiving which didn't end well, daddy teaching his four year old to drive the nice big boat while I'm bringing my jetski in to dock, surprise! and various other assorted bad karma including being the meat in a car sandwich, but my one contribution to the this is going to hurt from a bike perspective was when I was a teen. I decided to ride down to a local park/nature reserve, this only had a grassy path and it had been raining lightly, the incline down to the park was steep, the brakes were wet, there was just no stopping power and there were these HUGE volcanic rocks dotted all over the countryside in the park. I avoided most but not all of the rocks, I hit one squarely, impacted the frame and buckled it right back to the point where it had arced up by about 15 degrees and left handlebar rammed straight into my leg. The crush injury caused my thigh to swell to 29" and stayed that way for over a month, I looked severely deformed. Those were the days......

I don't imagine many make it out of their skydiving accident in a capable enough position to talk about hitting pumice with their bike tires.

[Artemis]

I have done some really horrible things to my body through various sports, including a partial malfunction while skydiving which didn't end well, daddy teaching his four year old to drive the nice big boat while I'm bringing my jetski in to dock, surprise! and various other assorted bad karma including being the meat in a car sandwich, but my one contribution to the this is going to hurt from a bike perspective was when I was a teen. I decided to ride down to a local park/nature reserve, this only had a grassy path and it had been raining lightly, the incline down to the park was steep, the brakes were wet, there was just no stopping power and there were these HUGE volcanic rocks dotted all over the countryside in the park. I avoided most but not all of the rocks, I hit one squarely, impacted the frame and buckled it right back to the point where it had arced up by about 15 degrees and left handlebar rammed straight into my leg. The crush injury caused my thigh to swell to 29" and stayed that way for over a month, I looked severely deformed. Those were the days......

I don't imagine many make it out of their skydiving accident in a capable enough position to talk about hitting pumice with their bike tires.

A 'partial mal' is a skydiving term for a partial malfunction where your drogue parachute tangles some of your lines this can be slightly bad to to very bad. In my case it caused a loss of control and a hard landing. If the drogue becomes fully involved, it can cause the chute to fail to deploy, you have a secondary chute if the main fails you cut away and use that, if that fails you flap.