02-10-2003, 08:45 PM
Funny Stuff -
You've just raped a perfectly good joke, Master Y.
02-11-2003, 01:57 AM
Funny Stuff -
Sorry I was drunk this morning
here are my apologies
1.A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. "What are you doing?" he asks. "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old" she replies. "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" her husband snorts. "Frankly dear," she says, "your name never came up."
2.Monday, November 25, 2002
A little old lady's phone rings late one night and she answers it.
"Hello," a deep voice on the other end says, "I know you, you'd like me to push you down on the bed and rip all your clothes off, lick your body all over and make rough love to you."
The old lady looks at the phone blushing and in amazement and replies, "You can tell all this from a single 'Hello?''
3.An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he
wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel
that way, because he just told me he thinks you're really cute!"
4.Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack, a slow learner, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words "Defeat," "Defense," "Deduct," and "Detail."
Jack stood thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he then proudly shouted out, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."
5.Friendship is like pissing in your pants.
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.
Thank you for being the piss in my pants.