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Thread: If I were President . . . . .

  1. #1
    I would immediately:

    - Shoot all these old fucks that are still creaking along wasting everyone's time as a "democracy", hanging, drawing and quartering all the financial fucks in particular, before dumping them all in a pit and taking a massive shit on top broadcast live in HD.

    - Organize quarterly trips for all prisoners (especially the demented ones who get first priority) to a specially built city with unlimited air dropped in whores and drugs for a 72hr vacation, with said city being ringed in by military divisions, after all, its only a 72hr vacation. You come within 50m of the perimeter and you'll be shot. Repeatedly. Inside, proceed as you will. If you refuse to leave after 72hrs, you will be shot. Repeatedly.

    - Fiddle with the legal system, starting with victims getting priority on what they want done. Will also be broadcast live, especially (as one example) if rapists get cock chopped. ESPECIALLY.

    - Legalise all drugs and ensure they are sold in every single supermarket. Make said drugs tax free, as my government will become the biggest producer. Ever.

    - Give all citizens a .44 and 100 rounds of ammunition, declaring hunting season on all immigrants, especially chinks

    - Heavily enforce stopping future said immigrants permanently. As in permanent dead. PERMANENT. Bonuses if any chinks, gooks, or slants are bagged

    - Abolish all pretence of morals, pffft, they've had their time.

    - Bring back torture and corporal punishment as the ideal way to solve problems. As has always been a fact. Make said torture and corporal punishment public always if possible

    - Ensure all officers shoot first, shoot second, and shoot third, before asking questions. If its a chink, no questions need be asked.


    So elect me, Hole69!

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    bigboab's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
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    Is Hole69 by any chance your position in the shower room line up at the local Pen'.
    The best way to keep a secret:- Tell everyone not to tell anyone.

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    TheFoX's Avatar www.arsebook.com
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hole69 View Post
    - Give all citizens a .44 and 100 rounds of ammunition, declaring hunting season on all immigrants, especially chinks

    Isn't that a bit fucking dangerous. I mean, you might need all those chink immigrants to make up for all the dead Yanks who don't know one end of a gun from the other.

    Also, how many Yanks will be shot by other Yanks because they cannot tell an immigrant from a Yank. After all, more Brits died from friendly fire because Yanks couldn't tell the difference between a Brit and an Iraqi.

    While your policies have some merit, this particular point is wholly unreasonable, and unsound. You'd be better off issuing them with battery operated vibrators, as they can do less damage with them (although they can still do some damage).

    Anyway, I have no problem with your other key points, but feel this particular point is unwholesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by OlegL
    You are one of the nicest and most mature people on this board; I would never ignore someone like you.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    pootystomp's Avatar Poster
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    None of this would make it past the house.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    IdolEyes787's Avatar Persona non grata
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hole69 View Post
    I would immediately:

    - Shoot all these old fucks that are still creaking along wasting everyone's time as a "democracy", hanging, drawing and quartering all the financial fucks in particular, before dumping them all in a pit and taking a massive shit on top broadcast live in HD.

    - Organize quarterly trips for all prisoners (especially the demented ones who get first priority) to a specially built city with unlimited air dropped in whores and drugs for a 72hr vacation, with said city being ringed in by military divisions, after all, its only a 72hr vacation. You come within 50m of the perimeter and you'll be shot. Repeatedly. Inside, proceed as you will. If you refuse to leave after 72hrs, you will be shot. Repeatedly.

    - Fiddle with the legal system, starting with victims getting priority on what they want done. Will also be broadcast live, especially (as one example) if rapists get cock chopped. ESPECIALLY.

    - Legalise all drugs and ensure they are sold in every single supermarket. Make said drugs tax free, as my government will become the biggest producer. Ever.

    - Give all citizens a .44 and 100 rounds of ammunition, declaring hunting season on all immigrants, especially chinks

    - Heavily enforce stopping future said immigrants permanently. As in permanent dead. PERMANENT. Bonuses if any chinks, gooks, or slants are bagged

    - Abolish all pretence of morals, pffft, they've had their time.

    - Bring back torture and corporal punishment as the ideal way to solve problems. As has always been a fact. Make said torture and corporal punishment public always if possible

    - Ensure all officers shoot first, shoot second, and shoot third, before asking questions. If its a chink, no questions need be asked.


    So elect me, Hole69!
    I don't know how the US will feel about becoming part of Saudi Arabia.
    Respect my lack of authority.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    IdolEyes787's Avatar Persona non grata
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    Also clearly your Asian policy wouldn't work as far too many of them are ninjas to be taken out so easily.
    Respect my lack of authority.

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    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFoX View Post
    more Brits died from friendly fire because Yanks couldn't tell the difference between a Brit and an Iraqi.
    We knew.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Ghey lumberjacks, wolverines, blackflies in the summer, polar bears in the winter, that's basically Canada in a nutshell.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    TheFoX's Avatar www.arsebook.com
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    Quote Originally Posted by megabyteme View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by TheFoX View Post
    more Brits died from friendly fire because Yanks couldn't tell the difference between a Brit and an Iraqi.
    We knew.
    A US Marine Colonel and an SAS Officer are sitting around a camp-fire, somewhere in the middle of the Iraqi desert. After consuming a bottle of Scotch and JD, the two start some light hearted banter.

    US Marine Colonel: If it wasn't for us Yanks, there'd be no coalition force to fight Saddam.

    SAS Officer: If it wasn't for us Brits, you'd have no one to shoot at.
    Quote Originally Posted by OlegL
    You are one of the nicest and most mature people on this board; I would never ignore someone like you.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    It takes about twenty years to pass a gun law. I highly and drunkenly doubt you'd get those radical proposals through congress within your tenure.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    TheFoX's Avatar www.arsebook.com
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    Quote Originally Posted by chalice View Post
    It takes about twenty years to pass a gun law.
    So, how many bullets would have been discharged in that time?
    Quote Originally Posted by OlegL
    You are one of the nicest and most mature people on this board; I would never ignore someone like you.

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