The Virgin Mary News Network

[Artemis]

For a moment I thought that in desperation you seriously turned to crime and started couriering drugs.

Anyway if you don't mind could you please redo your story to adhere to this false assumption as I'm sure it will be a lot more entertaining then.

PS If it's not asking too much also include at least one fiery Mexican death and the line "pistol whipped him upside his head".

Not to rain on your crazy parade, but fiery mexican deaths usually involve several car tyres, a 5 gallon can of gasoline and a zippo, the point being it is much more desirable that the subject victim be conscious at the time making the pistol whipping highly redundant.

[megabyteme]

So many Mexicans, so few tires...

[IdolEyes787]

For a moment I thought that in desperation you seriously turned to crime and started couriering drugs.

Anyway if you don't mind could you please redo your story to adhere to this false assumption as I'm sure it will be a lot more entertaining then.

PS If it's not asking too much also include at least one fiery Mexican death and the line "pistol whipped him upside his head".

Not to rain on your crazy parade, but fiery mexican deaths usually involve several car tyres, a 5 gallon can of gasoline and a zippo, the point being it is much more desirable that the subject victim be conscious at the time making the pistol whipping highly redundant.

The car skidded to a halt and two large Mexicans emerged with their guns drawn.
I (Mary) ducked behind the nearest cover,that being a young mother and her baby and likewise drew my own weapon.

Taking steady aim I fired off two quick shots,the first hitting the most evil looking of the two just below the sternum, immediately opening a large red hole and causing him to spin around backward.He would have little time to worry about either of these things though as the next bullet caught him directly in the large container of toluene which he inexplicably had strapped to his back and he unceremoniously exploded into a ball of fire.
Hasta la vista,motherfucker.

Witnessing his comrade's grisly demise instead of returning fire the second Mexican flung down his gun and began suing for mercy.
"God forgives,I don't ,taco jockey" and with that I preceded to pistol whip him upside his greasy head.

[megabyteme]

I'm reading that as a bedtime story for my daughter tonight.

[IdolEyes787]

I'm reading that as a bedtime story for my daughter tonight.

If I knew you were going to do that I would have named one of Mexicans Dirty Sanchez.

[mjmacky]

Not cool, not cool, bro. Stop putting guns and drugs in my hands, bro.

The story had too many guns and too few Danny Trejos.

[TheFoX]

A drug courier with IBS will turn shitty in a hurry.

Courier? Don't you mean 'dealer'?

I've never heard of the term 'drug courier' before?

[IdolEyes787]

Drugged Courier was how Jim managed to win most of his matches back in the '90's

[mjmacky]

I've never heard of the term 'drug courier' before?

Yes, that would be the question on the minds of several individuals.

[megabyteme]

Seriously? Nobody has heard of a drug courier before?

http://definitions.uslegal.com/d/drug-courier-profile/

How about 'drug mule'?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mule_(smuggling)