I have avoided reading and writing here to spite the site for its data loss, and I am still bitter about it. Still, I stumbled into a mood to talk to my ungrateful online journal.
Should I start with the good news or the bad news?
I am fucking broke. The credit card I was relying on to get me through the next couple of months just chopped $13,700 off of my credit limit, leaving me vulnerable to accidental default since I have it linked to some automated recurring business expenses (I have never defaulted on a credit card). A recent exchange in a convenience store has inspired me to apply for food stamps. I bought him a pack a cigarettes in exchange for him buying my milk and cookies, and afterwards I interrogated him on the process of getting onto the program. This editing position has me working a lot, but I'm not pulling in enough to make budget, and there's no business being generated from my own company. I am hoping I get this job with tutor.com and that it will help with the financial woes.
I know I swore off seeking any kind of dating/relationship after the last debacle, but I met someone last month. As per my MO, we met online. Actually, it started off with me sending a snarky message to her fake profile about its fakeness. She actually responded with an admission and a synopsis of her agenda. Having actually done the same thing myself on a previous occasion, we got to talking about our socioneurotic experimentations and eventually met, then went on several dates. My natural self-confidence, which through some bureaucratic mess does not cover any romantic interactions, has not helped me in this situation. I have had to desperately rely on my wit and charm, and it somehow managed to get me by so far. The prognosis is positive if I dare speak prematurely. I have gone so far as to begin introducing her to my other social circles and friended her on Facebook, which is kind of telling since I tend to ignore FB like the plague.
It has not yet moved into a sexual domain because I seem to be entirely frightened to act aggressively on that front. I think it might be because this thing seems genuinely promising and I am afraid to bring out the freak. Well there's also the fact that I've just permitted her to think that I'm already divorced when in reality the final hearing is in two days. I would have told her if she pried, but it's something I don't want to force out without a tangible link in conversation... that could have consequences. If I can just keep my mouth shut for a couple more days, I'll be in the clear and still never talk about it.
Oh, and that amicable friendship I was maintaining with "that woman", who lies and turns you all against me, ended over a month ago. I cut her out completely. For anyone keeping count, the weening period is 6 months, after which cold turkey was much more desirable.
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Originally Posted by mjmacky
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