Who's got a big dick and just been made redundant? This guy!

[Mr. Mulder]

Just got called into a meeting and was given my letter along with poorly worded criteria for reasoning.

Four and a half years I’ve been here, watching the company slowly bleed money. I’ve seen CEO’s, branch offices, operating systems and fellow employees come and go. Personally harassed 3 female receptionists, broken countless servers, and stolen countless licensed software. Drank my bodyweight in coffee on a daily bases, looked at over a million cat pictures with hilarious captions and spent 14 hours a week on busses for the pleasure of doing so.

Perhaps I’ll go back to the thug life though apparently it can’t be chosen? Or perhaps I’ll go home, get high and play GTA – the possibilities are truly endless…

[Something Else]

Don't forget to steal stuff on the way out. /cunts

I've got the day off. Shoot some online gypsies.

[Mr. Mulder]

you gonna give me that serial for Half-Life 3 GOTY edition?

[Something Else]

and some.

[Mr. Mulder]

sick!! I can't steam at work, i'll be on it this eve. Our firewall policy prevents steam from reaching its servers and i can't find the rule to change it. Maybe they're right to fire me...

[Barbarossa]

Did you set fire to the pier in your anguish?

Although that might have happened before, I'm confused, you're the one with the time machine, no?

[Mr. Mulder]

not yet i'm not but also yes

[Barbarossa]

Good luck!

[megabyteme]

Perhaps you should spend your day finding where that firewall thingy is. And add commonly used sites to it. It'll make them miss you more.

[TheFoX]

You've spent four years watching CEO's and fellow workers come and go, and now someone is watching you go.

Maybe someone did an accounting exercise and realised that what you've cost them in broken servers and stolen licenses outweighs your value to the organisation, and that they want to cut their losses before you bring their company to its knees.

About the only thing you can really brag about is your harrassment, I presume sexually, of those three female receptionists. Were they worth it?

Still, life is a learning curve, and any mistakes you have made at this employment are there to be made in your next employment, if you so wish. At least it was women, or young ladies, you harrassed. If you had told us you had harrassed three male colleagues, I would have been mortified. Not that I have anything against homosexuals, but they should all be rounded up and shot.

Still, you have plenty of years ahead of you, and there are plenty more women to harrass, so here's looking to the future for you.