Let's say there is a male member here who is definitely not called by a woman's name. Let's also say that he was once married to an eastern european nymphomaniac, and we'll call her Svetwhora. We'll further say that he had a close friend, who we'll call Zeus, that he hasn't spoken to in years due to the nature of Svetwhora's infidelity, which was with Zeus's brother, Poseidon. Well, this man, who is definitely not a woman, finally reconnected with his friend Zeus after 95+ months. The reason...

Apparently, Svetwhora absolutely needed to have the image of motherhood. She kept visiting Zeus and Poseidon in their northernest north american domicile. She eventually tricked Poseidon into donating his seed so that she may bear a child. Svetwhora then stopped having an occupation in the State of Penis, and then relocated to northernest north america. That's a mouthful, so let's call it katana, like a super polite katana that doesn't cut off people's heads for replacing consonants and swapping their positions. Svetwhora lounged in katana with the family of Zeus during her pregnancy, all needs being tended. She spawned this offspring, and Poseidon believed to be embarking on a happy family life, but they were often visited by Svetwhora's mother, Medusa. After several months, Svetwhora and Medusa absconded with the child much to the confusion of Poseidon and his kin.

What was unknown to this katanian family was that Svetwhora and Medusa are scheming witches. The sudden departure had quickly followed the submission of paperwork for legal residence in katana. However, these witches are blundering witches with equally foolhardy schemes. They relied on a contact in katana for temporary residence, but the best that was offered was a barn. Like, it was a "farm house", but it was an actual fucking barn for horses and other farm animals. Poseidon finally located the witches to discover them residing with his child in this barn, and he was horrified. He tried to establish that the child should return with him to a proper home with a family that treats the child as an offspring and not an establishment of status. Shots of legal papers have already been fired from the witches, and Zeus aids Poseidon in mounting a proper defense and counterattack. A custody battle will ensue.

You may ask, what happened to the outsider that was mentioned at the beginning, you know, the man who is definitely not a woman. On second though, it's more likely you forgot about the man-not-woman. In any case, that'd be me. I laughed a great deal on news of these events, but I had to deal with the fact that a close friend, with whom I'd finally reconnected, has become, along with his family, quite burdened with my refuse. His brother genuinely loves the child, and he wants full custody. I was sought for advice on the mindset of the witch Svetwhora, which I offered freely.

Covering bases as to not be discovered by key word searches or post history. You never know with these witches after all.