Love Vs. In Love

[miccheck1516]

about the getting changed thing, thats tricky, i know that when two girls, that arnt lesbiens, change together its no big deal, but i think when its a guy and a girl, i think it becomes differant, especially when you have been together.
Besides, why would you two be getting changed together? of course if you live in the same house its kind of understandable but, i assume one of you will move out?

[dwightfry]

Originally posted by miccheck1516@8 December 2003 - 11:46
dwightfry im so sorry to hear that, i hope things work out for you, i know ive only been in a relationship for just over 10 months, and ok im only 16, but this really does feel special, i loved this girl for a long time, and when we started going out i fell in love with her.

Perhaps your girlfriend thinks that she will be a burden to you, with all her other problems you mention, mabye you should try and call her and tell her you know she is still in love with you and that no matter what, you want to be with her, and help her regardless of the situation, explain to her that relationships are all about helping each other, if my girlfriend didnt help me i wouldnt love her so much.

Believe me, I tried that before we broke up. Boy did I try that. It's weird, when I was your age, I thought I understood relationships...now I'm 22 and still learning. Just like I'm sure you will with your girlfriend.

God relationships are confusing.

[dwightfry]

Originally posted by miccheck1516@8 December 2003 - 11:54
about the getting changed thing, thats tricky, i know that when two girls, that arnt lesbiens, change together its no big deal, but i think when its a guy and a girl, i think it becomes differant, especially when you have been together.
Besides, why would you two be getting changed together? of course if you live in the same house its kind of understandable but, i assume one of you will move out?

Well, If I'm over there and she is getting ready to go out with friends, we would both be comfortable if she changed while I was in the room, or so we think right now. Like I said, things are very confusing. That is why I was wondering if anyone knows anyother relationships like that, just so I know it can work.

[Skweeky]

dwightfry, I change clothes in front of my friends all the time. It's no biggie, and it can be completely asexual

[mrlessk]

Originally posted by dwightfry@8 December 2003 - 08:32

I even talked about dating this girl at work and we were both comfortable with it.

How are you going to feel when she tells you about a guy she would like to date? Will you be as comfortable with that? What was your purpose in revealing this? Might be a good idea to avoid this area for now, you're not going to make her jealous at this point.

(MusicChick @ 8 December 2003 - 10:19)
If the two of you are meant to be, then you will. Just give her some space right now. If she truly loves you, then she will come back to you. If things don't work out, like they say "Time heals all wounds".

dwightfry, you probably won't find any solace in my reply. Your experience has been the foundation for wonderful and beautiful poems, operas and love songs (mostly country...lol) through the ages. Some may even remember Neil Sedaka's "Breaking up is hard to do". As I read your post I could feel your pain as I reflect back on my own experiences and loves lost. When it happens it seems like the end of the world, but I moved on and looking back tells me that relationships can simply "run their course". Go ahead and look for an explanation. Go ahead and seek advice from others but, it all comes down to your girlfriends decision. She knows when it's time to go and by you saying "She couldn't tell me that she wasn't in love with me anymore" tells me she is trying to let you down easy.

Sorry I could not be more positive and I really hope she has a change of mind, that you two discover you are madly in love with each other after all, were meant to be and...live happily everafter.

All the best to both of you!
mrlessk

[dwightfry]

How are you going to feel when she tells you about a guy she would like to date? Will you be as comfortable with that? What was your purpose in revealing this? Might be a good idea to avoid this area for now, you're not going to make her jealous at this point.

It wasn't brought up to make her jelouse. It was brought up because she wanted me to move on and she was even thinking of where I could meet people. As for why I brought up this indivisual person, that's a story in itself, but I assure you it's not how you interpret it.

How am I going to feel? I really don't know until we cross that road. She says she wants a lengthy break from relationships, if that is true then I should have moved on by then. But...again...things are confusing, but being good friends really was her choice, and it is starting to feel right to me. I just hope it continues feeling that way.

She really is my best friend, I'm pretty sure it is that part of our relationship that I was afraid of losing, now that it looks like I'm not going too...who knows....

[Skweeky]

Unfortunately , I never had the pleasure to keep any of my exes a friends , but even then I always found it a bit weird/difficult to see them with someone else. Like a confirmation it is really over and that what we had will never come back...
Ah well, love, it's a weird thing

[mrlessk]

Originally posted by dwightfry@8 December 2003 - 13:56

It wasn't brought up to make her jelouse. It was brought up because she wanted me to move on and she was even thinking of where I could meet people. As for why I brought up this indivisual person, that's a story in itself, but I assure you it's not how you interpret it.
....but being good friends really was her choice, and it is starting to feel right to me. I just hope it continues feeling that way.

Ok, swell. Sorry if I mis-interpreted, I wasn't there so what do I know?

she was even thinking of where I could meet people???

Wake up and smell the coffee!

I'm playing hard-ball here first of all because I've been there and done that and also because you might just need a reality check. At 22 you haven't had enough experience I suppose to hear often the soothing words "But, we can still be friends!" All this means is: "I want to meet and have relations with other guys and if you can handle that you can call me once in a while but I might be busy." Of course, as you state, it was "her choice".

Anyway, I'm not going to continue. Whatever I have to say will not be uplifting and encouraging. I'll give others their opportunity to address your issues and even disagree with what I've had to say.

Suggestion: start gathering up the photos you want of you two together before she does. You'll certainly want remembrances of your relationship.

Just my opinion, I could be wrong!
mrlessk

[dwightfry]

Don't worry about it. I'm glad you are saying these things. I thought them all too, I think this is going to be different though. She still wants to say I love you when we get off the phone and stuff. She says she's going to try not to in front of friends because it might weird them out. So, this may be the time when the friends thing really works. I guess now only time will tell.

[dwightfry]

To help heal my woes.....I GOT A CAT.

It's a shorthair domestic, dark grey with light grey stripes. 7 months old. Generally quite but VERY loving. For the next few nights, (Until I get him neutered), He's staying in the bathroom so he doesn't spray the carpet. I let him out for a little while today, I just sat on the floor and he just walked around me in circles rubbing against me over and over and over and over and.................

I can't wait to get home from work.