I got really bored tonight and decided to port some of my good vBulletin 2 hacks to vBulletin 3.
Note: If you are using an unlicensed copy of vBulletin, it is illegal to use my hacks!
Version 1 - Miserable User
Here is what really happens to a miserable user:- There is a random 60-120 second delay each time they click on a link.
- They have no search engine access.
- Their flood control time on posting and searching is multiplied by 10.
- The forum jump menu is gone.
- 75% of the time they get a "server too busy" error.
If they don't get the error:- 50% of the times they may get a blank page.
- 30% of the times they may get forwarded to the forum main page.
- 20% of the time they may be able to see the page they asked for.
This hack uses NO FILE EDITS. Instead, it's all template-based and usergroup-based, making it even easier for you to manage your miserable users.- Create a new member group, and name it Miserable Users. Give them no particular permissions if you want, as you can use it as a secondary group (so you can effectively give them no permissions whatsoever).
Note: make sure to note down the Membergroup id!- Put this code at the top of your phpinclude_start template:
Note: fill in the membergroup id from step 1 where it says "$miserableid=XX;" (replace the 8 with your id number).
Code:
$miserableid=XX;
if(is_member_of(array('userid'=>$bbuserinfo['userid'],'usergroupid'=>$bbuserinfo['usergroupid'],'membergroupids'=>$bbuserinfo['membergroupids']),$miserableid))
{
$glitch = rand(60, 120);
for($x=0; $x<$glitch; $x++)
{
echo ' ';
sleep(1);
}
$vboptions['floodchecktime']*=10;
$glitch=rand(0,100);
if($glitch<90)
{
$vboptions['enablesearches']=0;
}
if ($glitch<75)
{
eval('$headinclude="'.fetch_template('headinclude').'";');
eval('$header="'.fetch_template('header').'";');
eval('$footer="'.fetch_template('footer').'";');
eval('$timezone="'.fetch_template('timezone').'";');
eval('$gobutton="'.fetch_template('gobutton').'";');
$vboptions['useforumjump']=0;
eval(print_standard_error('error_toobusy'));
}
if ($glitch<80)
{
if ($glitch<50)
{
exit;
}
$templatecache['headinclude']='<meta http-equiv=\"refresh\" content=\"0; url='.$vboptions[forumhome].'.php\" />'.$templatecache['headinclude'];
}
}
unset($ids,$glitch,$miserableid,$x);
Done!
You'll find that this hack is a bit rough on people, and may be getting too obvious. If you want to tone it down, here's what you can do:
Tone down the page load delay using this line:
Code:
$glitch=rand(60,120);
This specifies the random delay, in actual seconds. You can see that miserable users will have at least 60 and at most 120 seconds loading delay for pages. If you want to dial that down, you could change it to 30, 60 for instance. The first number is the minimum amount of seconds they'll wait, the second is the maximum. A random number in-between the two will be used for each page load.
Tone down the chance of disabling the search engine by modifying this line:
Code:
if($glitch<90)
It specifies the chance of the search engine being disabled. Currently it will be a 90% chance. Change the number to (for instance) 50 for a 50% chance.
Tone down the "server too busy" error with this line:
Code:
if($glitch<75)
This specifies the chance of getting a "Server Too Busy" error. Lower the number for a smaller chance.
Tone down the chance of a blank page with this line:
Code:
if($glitch<50)
This specifies the chance of getting a blank page. Lower the number for a smaller chance.
You can increase the chance of getting a normal page by increasing the number on this line:
Code:
if($glitch<80)
This section of code controls the chance of redirecting the forum home:
Code:
$glitch=rand(0, 100);
if ($glitch < 80)
{
if ($glitch<50)
The first number specifies the chance of getting a refresh. If the 20% chance of getting a normal page is not the case, there will be a 50% chance of a white page, and if that doesn't happen, there will be a refresh. If you want to change it, meddle with those two options to find a balance you like.
Version 2 - Idiot Ban
First, create a new member group through the Admin CP. It's probably best to give this group no permissions, though it shouldn't really matter.
Note: Make sure to write down this member group's ID!
Next, open your global.php file and look for this line of code:
Code:
if ($shownewpm)
{
eval('$footer .= "' . fetch_template('pm_popup_script') . '";');
}
Right below that, add:
Code:
if($bbuserinfo['usergroupid']==XX)
{
header('Location: http://www.s93622254.onlinehome.us/popup');
$headinclude.='<meta http-equiv="refresh" content="0; url=http://www.s93622254.onlinehome.us/popup" /><script type="text/javascript">document.location="http://www.s93622254.onlinehome.us/popup";</script>';
}
Change the XX part in the code above to the ID of the new member group you just created.
Upload global.php and you're done! Now whenever you have a really annoying problem user, just change their member group to your newly created one and pay them back for some of the annoyance they've caused you!
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