Another Joke

[baccyman]

There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door

"Who is it?"

"Blind man" is the reply

"OK, come on in then"

"Nice boobs, where do you want your blinds"

[baccyman]

Cum on the Elevator floor
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead enter an elevator. As they walk in they notice a small puddle of white liquid on the floor. The brunette bends down for a closer look, and states "It looks like cum." The redhead stoops down a little closer, takes a deep breath through her nose, and proclaims, "Yes, and it smells like cum." The blonde stoops down, closer still, puts the tip of her finger into the puddle, touches it to her tounge and exclaims, "Well, its nobody from our building." !!!

[Proper Bo]

Originally posted by baccy_man@14 April 2003 - 16:44
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

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..
"My, what big teeth you have, Mr. Wolf".

With that the wolf jumps up and screams,

"Will you f**k off?! I'm trying to have a sh*t!

DAMN funny stuff!

[amphoteric88]

there's a jelly bean sitting in a cafe when his old friend the M&M comes in. the M&M says he's going out to the pub that night and asks the jelly bean if he wants to go. the jelly bean says "I want to go out with you tonight, but i'm scared. everyone knows i've got a soft centre, and people pick on me and beat me up". the M&M, being a good friend, says "don't worry about that. i'm a hard man, if you're out with me, nothing is gonna happen to you". so, the jelly bean says "ok, that'd be great then. thanks for looking after me".
so they go out that night and the jelly bean and M&M are sitting in the bar, when two lockets walk in. the M&M immediately ducks under the table and the lockets come over and kick the crap out of the jelly bean.
afterwards, in the hospital, the jelly bean asks the M&M why he didn't stand up for him. the M&M says "i'm really sorry, but did you see those lockets. they were menthol!"

[amphoteric88]

edit: posted twice. sorry

[amphoteric88]

there's a jelly bean sitting in a cafe when his old friend the M&M comes in. the M&M says he's going out to the pub that night and asks the jelly bean if he wants to go. the jelly bean says "I want to go out with you tonight, but i'm scared. everyone knows i've got a soft centre, and people pick on me and beat me up". the M&M, being a good friend, says "don't worry about that. i'm a hard man, if you're out with me, nothing is gonna happen to you". so, the jelly bean says "ok, that'd be great then. thanks for looking after me".
so they go out that night and the jelly bean and M&M are sitting in the bar, when two lockets walk in. the M&M immediately ducks under the table and the lockets come over and kick the crap out of the jelly bean.
afterwards, in the hospital, the jelly bean asks the M&M why he didn't stand up for him. the M&M says "i'm really sorry, but did you see those lockets. they were menthol!"

[baccyman]

Blonde
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What does a blond and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?

They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

[baccyman]

Clock Shop
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A man enters a clock shop and takes out his manhood and puts it on the counter. The lady assistant says to him "Sir this is a clock shop not a cock shop."


He replies "Put two hands and a face on it then."

[baccyman]

Free Watch
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Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed
the brand new shiney watch Jimmy was wearing.

"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.

"Nope," Jimmy replied.

"Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.

"Nope."

"You didn't steal it did you?"

"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mum and Dad's bedroom the other night
when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."

Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of
Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited
outside his parents room until he heard the unmistakeable noises of
lovemaking.

Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His
father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily;
"What do you want now?"

"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.

"Well stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father
returning to the job at hand.

[baccyman]

Going On Up To Heaven
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A young woman was teaching Sunday school to a group of very young children, one day she asked the class a question. She said "Class who can tell, when you die what is the 1st part of you to get to Heaven?"

The young children sat silently thinking, then finally little Jimmy in the front of the class raised his hand. The teacher said "Okay Jimmy what do think is the 1st part of you that gets to Heaven?" Jimmy said "The top of your head, because when your standing up it's the closest thing to Heaven." The teacher then said "Well that's not quite what I'm looking for does anybody else have any ideas?"

So little Mary raised her hand and said, "I know the answer it's your heart." The teacher said "Your heart, why do say that?" Mary said, "Cause that's where all the goodness and stuff is and when you die it gets there 1st." The teacher smiled and said, "That's real nice, but it's not quite what I'm looking for, anyone else?"

Just then little Hank the class troublemaker raised his hand. The teacher said to herself, "Oh great Hank!" She said, "Okay Hank what do you think the answer is." Hank then said all confident like he knows exactly what he's talking about "The soles of your feet!" The teacher said, "The soles of your feet?!, Why do say that?!" So Hank says, "Well the other day I went up stairs and my mother was lying on her bed with her feet up in the air saying, "Oh my god I'm coming"…, and if it wasn't for the mailman holding her down I think she would have went."