1: Dirty bed linen... ok, so she slept in my bed, i admit it - but i slept on the couch with my cat to keep my feet warm whilst she hogged all the sheets and pillows! Now i have to wash them?!
2: An empty flat... its damned lonely now, i have no-one to play patience with and cheat the crap out of me - my cat knows nothing about playing cards and he just wants to scratch them anyways... also, i have to make my own breakfast again!! What a cheap trick to play on me. I wake up expecting to find her standing over me with tea and bacon and all i get is "miauwww"!!
3: 36 empty wine bottles... and NO money back on them either... now i have to walk all the way to the rubbish tip which is miles away as there are no glass disposal units in town!!
4: A pair of used ice-skates... the wrong size for me of course... i paid a fortune for them just so i could teach her how to ice-skate, then she leaves them behind!! I ask you, is that how to treat me? I spent hours trying to show her how to skate, lessons everyday, medication for her bruised bum for everytime she fell over....
5: 20 gallons of Bolognaise... ok, granted it tastes delicious, but i'll be eating this stuff for months now! Damn good cook she was though, but now i have to cook myself... allready said that didn't i?
6: 12 police fines... from all the pubs she tried to get into because she was too young and then insulting and fighting the security guards!!
Ahh well, we had a great holiday at least and i look forward to recieving more guests... just bring yer own sleeping bags will ya??