Depression

[Knuckles187]

Petri, me and you have never seen eye-eye..

but we had one or 2 chats.. before the whole mess started.. and you told me of your problems.. i could never understand them...

i would never try to be bold enought o tell you what to do.. but i can tell ya this aint the right way out.

less then a month ago.

2 of my good friends were biking.. and one came off and died.
the other subsequently asked for my bike to burn off steam. and commited suicide.

that was tough. dont do it. please. think of all these people who do care about you bro..

it killed a relationship(was dead anyway but this clinched) and nearly made me follow the chain.

dont do it.

doubt u'd wanna talk to me.. but u know where to find me..

[Rat Faced]

Originally posted by Petri@29 February 2004 - 15:59
Sorry, you can't make me change my mind...

So, goodbye everyone...

I love you, Crystal... more than you'll ever know.

Please be aware that this isnt over a "Chick"

Crystal is one of his best friends, not his Girlfriend.

She isnt part of the problems.


I thought i better say that, as people could jump to conclusions from this post..




Petri,

You have identified yourself in this thread.

To have done that is, in a way, acknowledging that you have a problem to your friends here. They say that acknowledging you have a problem publicly, is the 1st, and hardest step to finding a way through your problems

No one will be unaffected if you leave this way.

You are loved dearly by all of us that know you well, and highly respected by those that have assosiated with you.

As you can see; even people that dont even know you, have been at that point in their lives, and dont want to see you waste yours. We all go through those times.

You are a special guy.

I know you have been fighting for what seems to be forever...but keep fighting mate.

You used to see the internet as a window into the outside, and we were always so glad to see you. It would be nice to see you around again, and in its way, i believe it helped keep those dark times at bay....why not give it a go?


I remember when we 1st met, on #klchat.

You were a lurker that never spoke and we'd never heard of.

Then we had TRX, when they tried to take over.... You, the little lurker that hardly ever posted and never spoke, were one of the hero's of the board. We were so PROUD to have you with us in there...just quitely sitting, never speaking....except we now always said hello to the little lurker...

When you actually said hello back one day..you could have knocked me over with a feather. When i noticed that there were only certain people that you would talk to at all...made me feel like i was part of an exclusive club. Especially when we found out how knowledgable you were. You helped us IRC n00bs out a lot in the new chat channel..

Then, when it looked like the #klchat channel was doomed as we refused to not share on the servers.... you found one where the ircops understood the p2p community. You overcame your introverted nature enough to register the channel, going overnight from a regular member that rarely spoke on channel, to the channels owner...with all that entails. That, for you, took guts.

I am proud to be included in your circle of friends...and i believe that you can beat this m8. We can help, if you let us....but you have to beat it.


Your not a coward Petri...fight. You've overcame it before, you can again.



"Dont let the bastards grind you down"

[Knuckles187]

Originally posted by Rat Faced@29 February 2004 - 23:42
Your not a coward Petri...fight. You've overcame it before, you can again.



"Dont let the bastards grind you down"

... what he said.

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Knuckles187@1 March 2004 - 00:30
Petri, me and you have never seen eye-eye..

but we had one or 2 chats.. before the whole mess started.. and you told me of your problems.. i could never understand them...

i would never try to be bold enought o tell you what to do.. but i can tell ya this aint the right way out.

less then a month ago.

2 of my good friends were biking.. and one came off and died.
the other subsequently asked for my bike to burn off steam. and commited suicide.

that was tough. dont do it. please. think of all these people who do care about you bro..

it killed a relationship(was dead anyway but this clinched) and nearly made me follow the chain.

dont do it.

doubt u'd wanna talk to me.. but u know where to find me..

In the last time I many times not feeling well, in some ways a little
depressed and sad about my situation, but though I sometime thought
of killing myself I never could do that as it would hurting my best girlfriend
Ulla once more as she already lost her good girlfriend by this way.

The other thing is I want to share my thoughts.

And the other thing: Feelings have big influence, but don't let them overcome you.
Take some coffee, no durgs please. Coffee really helps.

Hey come on guy, share my ICQ and MSN informations are in my profile:

I am always opened.

And you can btw. if you want another advise or opinion on this call
0 800 30 1215 - Jezza is making a radio show in london where ppl talking
about issues.

http://virginradio.co.uk

If I am a little confusing you while writing this, I am sorry as I have a little
headache at the moment. Is there anything I did not say, no, I am opened
just ask me.

I have not the right to judge about you, can't expect nothing of you as
you are just humand, but it JUST makes me feeling sad.

And: each thought counts!

I wish you nice Night Sessions take some coffee...



Nice dreams,

David.

[NikkiD]

Petri,

Sweetie, I wish there were something any of us could say to just make it all go away and take away all your pain. You know that there are many of us that would do anything to take the hurt from you.

I also remember when we first met on #klchat. 4731571. You were one of the only constants in that room, and whenever you spoke it was truly an event. And when you finally did begin to break out of your shell and start to open up with us, many of us felt honoured by it. And as you spoke more, you showed a sheer wit and intelligence that had me laughing so hard at times I couldn't breathe.

I remember one night in particular, when I was feeling pretty down, going through problems with my ex boyfriend, and you and Rob took it upon yourselves to cheer me up. I don't know whether you would remember it now or not, but it began with me saying LMAO one too many times, and suddenly, you made a comment that I had dropped my ass, and picked it up and ran away with it. The conversation continued for almost an hour and during it, I was laughing so hard I couldn't even type. You knew that night that I needed to laugh, and you gave that to me.

Petri, you have so much to offer this world, and you've touched a great many people, more than I think even you realize.

Believe me when I say that I have been where you are. If not for a stubborn and brave younger brother, I would not be sitting here typing this. And looking back now, I realize that I am grateful to him for that every day. At the time I wanted nothing more than for it all to just go away. For all the pain to just end. But what I didn't think about was all the pain that would just be beginning, not for me, but for those that I loved and that loved me.

All I can tell you is that it will get easier, no matter how dark it is right now. You have to keep fighting. It is worth it. You are worth it. And you are strong enough.

[Petri]

Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn't. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I'm gonna ask for stronger medication...

[junkyardking]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 07:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn't. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I'm gonna ask for stronger medication...

My grandma committed suicide after suffering for years with Parkinson disease, I understand why she did it, I’m not going to say if you should do it or not as it a personal choice but it does cause pain to other people...

I don’t personally know your medical condition but have you tried any alternative medicines, one of the best for deliberating conditions like MS and other painful conditions seem to be Marijuana far better than any pharmaceutical drugs although this might not right for your condition?

[shn]

Originally posted by CocoColaNut@27 February 2004 - 20:37
Life can be a real mess, I know.  I was an abused child by both my divorced, alcoholic parents, I was almost sexually assaulted by my mother's boyfriend at age 6, "Mother" got there in time drunk, and after he got off my bed also drunk,  started  throwing up on the kitchen floor, then my mother "woke" me up.  I was pretending I was sleeping, at only 6, I was terrified, I thought her boyfriend was trying to kill me.  Then she actually made me clean up the throwup while she was having sex with him in another room.
My father beat me severely for no reason, then gave me money to say he was sorry.  He did that for years and years.  Threw me down the stairs too many times to count. 
Both my sister and brother deserted me over a family issue that was not my fault.

Many, many many times I contemplated suicide, but if I did, I would have never had my beautiful son, never would've have the family that "adopted" me from my husband's side which gave me the chance to have a normal family life I so desperately needed, never been able to help others that were or still are in the same situation as I was, and the cycle of abuse that ran in my family for generations would have never been broken if it wasn't for me.  Along with the good, the bad things that can happen to you adds to your own wisdom.  What helped me is now I realize that I learned A LOT from my situation.  I'm not bitter, just wiser.  Forgiveness towards others and yourself is a big part of it.  Harboring hate can eat you alive if you let it.  Also harboring pity for yourself will not help you... it didn't help me.  The only thing you get from self pity or pity from others towards you will only make yourself feel even more miserable about yourself and lost.  Pity doesn't help.  Also, the people in your life that might've hurt you, don't expect apologies from them if they don't want to be forgiven.  What's important is that you forgive them within yourself.  If they don't want your forgiveness, then they don't want it.  That's their loss and their frustration, not yours because you have already forgiven them within yourself.  If there are people in your life that you hurt, and they don't want to forgive you, some things you can't change and some people you can't change.  No matter how badly you want it.  They may not forgive you, but if you are sincere in your heart then you should be guilt free.  And again, that's their loss, not yours... and their frustration.  Not yours.

Everyone at one time or another creates expectations for themselves.  Goals, etc...But sometimes they can be too high, and when they are not reached they consider themselves a failure.  No one is perfect and everyone has limits.  Too many people compare themselves with everyone else without realizing that those they are comparing themselves with have their own ups and downs that they don't know about.  While some are good with some things, they may not be good with others.  No career, no material things you may own or not own, no financial straits, no family problems are worth taking your life to avoid.  You never know what could happen tomorrow.  Many times when I was "down", I was surprised the next day, the next week, etc. etc.  When you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.  Guaranteed there will be a way you can go back up again.  Don't give up or look down when you start.  "Our greatest accomplishment in life is not in never falling... but in rising every time we fall". 

From what I read above, I don't know you, but I get the feeling
you are a lot like me... a person who feels quite alone, walking in the dark with just a lit candle.  You help people with your kindness, your sense of humor and hard work.  Some are grateful towards you for it, some take advantage of it.  But guess what..  you are not alone!  I'm there and so are many others.  With our own candles. Please use your wisdom toward those who don't have candles and are wandering in the darkness blind.
Think about it.
Love,
Ann

Interesting.

You hang in there as well

[internet.news]

Hey Petri, I did not know you much yet, but as I hear from RatFaced you had been
on #klchat or #kchat - I also have been there for some time, but never saw you there - I remember Rpberry been there

But as many ppl saying it seems you are in interesting character - for me everyone
is interesting - come I should have a talk with you Just PM me...

And don't worry, too much, I told you my situation is also not the best, but that
is quite normal in some ways: Shit happens always. But remain opened.

I know many ppl are not opened and I can'r expect anything of them as they are just humans, that is why I can't judge about them as well, but I remain honestly
opened and try to be kindly, if possible But I remain opened.

[TARPD]

Originally posted by Petri@29 February 2004 - 15:59
Sorry, you can't make me change my mind...

So, goodbye everyone...

I love you, Crystal... more than you'll ever know.

i dont know who you are but that post sounds kinda selfish.

straighten your tie and face your problems man. we all have to do it sometimes