A barman is serving in a pub and he serves a guy that he notices is talking to his hand.
When the guy comes to the bar to get another round, the barman sheepishly asks him about his habit.
"Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude, but you appear to be talking to your hand."
"No problem," the guy replies, "I've had the world's smallest mobile phone implanted in my hand. The keys are on the palm, the aerial goes up my arm, there's a small speaker in my thumb and a microphone in my little finger, see?"
The customer shows his hand to the barman who say, "Jesus, that's incredible!"
They chat for a short while about technology and the customer goes off to talk to his hand again in a corner.
A while later the barman sees the customer go to the toilet and after about 20 minutes realises he hasn't returned, so he goes in to see what's wrong.
When he enters the toilets the barman sees the customer standing with his hands against the wall, his trousers down around his ankles and a toilet roll shoved up his backside.
"Right, that's it, you're out!" he barks, "I knew there was something strange about you. Get out!"
"Hang on a minute," the guy replies in a strained voice, "hang on... I've got a fax coming through."