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Thread: Logic

  1. #1
    Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a
    rough pub (near catford) when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer
    and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate
    about the occupation of the suit.

    Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
    Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
    Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets
    the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet
    he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several
    beers get the better of the builder.

    Phil: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering

    what you do for a living?

    Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

    Phil: - Oh! What's that then ?

    Suit: - I'll try to explain by example.... Do you have a goldfish at

    Phil: - Er .. mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!

    Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
    pond. Which is it?

    Phil: - It's in a pond!

    Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large
    garden then?

    Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

    Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
    large garden then you have a large house?

    Phil: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!

    Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical
    to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
    quite probably married?

    Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
    with your wife on a regular basis?

    Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that y ou do not masturbate
    very often?

    Phil: - Me? Never

    Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

    Phil: - How's that then?

    Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
    about your sex life!

    Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!

    Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.

    Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

    Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

    Eric: - What's that then?

    Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

    Eric: - Nope

    Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Surrey, BC

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Dodgy knees
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Great joke.

    cpt_azad are you from Catford by any chance?


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