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Thread: Food Spoilage Test

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    Food Spoilage Test

    Finally, a way to know what to throw-out and what to save!

    EGGS: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

    MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

    FROZEN FOODS: Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled -- (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

    EXPIRATION DATES: This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

    MEAT: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

    BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

    FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

    SALT: It never spoils.

    LETTUCE: Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.

    CANNED GOODS: Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully. Very, very carefully!

    RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

    POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

    CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

    EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

    UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it's well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

    GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a goldfish. Keep a goldfish nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    zacspeed's Avatar Pheasant plucker
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Funny shit!

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Autumn Fox's Avatar n00b
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    On the Throne of Hopeless
    Some of 'em are realy good. Thanks.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Nice :-)

    Sugar: Never spoils unless it gets wet and sits for a period of time.

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    My body is Adelaide but my heart is in Bosnia
    RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.--- REALLY, Damn, better stop eating them then..

  7. Funny S**t   -   #6
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
    Join Date
    Jan 2003

    CRIPS: Iti should not be possible to fold a crisp

    MILK: When you look at it and it makes you want to throw up, its overdue

  8. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Over here!
    Originally posted by Zedaxax@26 April 2004 - 15:20

    MILK: When you look at it and it makes you want to throw up, its overdue
    MILK: When you have to ask "1 lump or 2", the milk is off...


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