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Thread: Worst Joke You Know

  1. #11
    Mathea's Avatar The Blonde Alibi BT Rep: +5
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    There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree off in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!" "Look Pepe," says the first man. "It's a bacon tree!" "You're right!" says Pepe, "We're saved!" Pepe doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! What on earth happened?" And with his dying breath Pepe calls back: "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree after all..." "...its a ham bush!"



    What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
    Surreal

    Man goes into Docs and says "Doc, I think I'm a pair of curtains" Doc says "Pull yourself together"

  2. Lounge   -   #12
    BANNED
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    2 much 2 read



  3. Lounge   -   #13
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    Originally posted by Withcheese@1 May 2004 - 23:21
    What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?


    Both crews were marooned.


    Pupled, one would have thought.

  4. Lounge   -   #14
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    What do you say to a man with no arms and legs if you need to know the time.

    Have you got a watch on yer cock

  5. Lounge   -   #15
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
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    Where is Dracula's New York Home?

    The Vampire State Building



    How many Surrealists does it take to change a Lightbulb?

    Fish

    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

  6. Lounge   -   #16
    Mathea's Avatar The Blonde Alibi BT Rep: +5
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    Last night I dreamt I had written 'Lord Of The Rings'. This morning I realised I'd just been Tolkein in my sleep.

  7. Lounge   -   #17

  8. Lounge   -   #18
    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    site lol


    edit:first vid



    great song

  9. Lounge   -   #19
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
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    A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.

    See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"

    "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

    "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.

    The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only
    say it to D, but I said it to G.

    See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

    "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

    Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."

    The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy,Mommy," she
    yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered,all the other girls had
    flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair
    of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

    "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

    "No, it's because you're 25."

    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

  10. Lounge   -   #20
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    :groan:

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