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Thread: Resignation Letter

  1. #1
    ashutosh_cool16's Avatar Internet Addict
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to
    her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

    Dear Mr. Baker,
    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
    basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an
    intellect that ranges above that of the common ground squirrel. After your
    consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the
    commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
    true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
    everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a
    waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I
    know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to
    provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
    attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
    "binary" still gives you too many options. You will also never understand
    why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even
    though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP
    is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
    others. You have a sharp-dressed useless look about you that may have
    worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility,
    you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for
    your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
    blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you
    are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

    Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full
    frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I
    have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for
    you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me
    is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you
    over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you
    would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
    every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide
    to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
    conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I
    do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably
    by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
    "Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
    take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to
    erase them, like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I
    have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you
    that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the
    authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell
    check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
    desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody and all of your
    little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f***
    with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with
    all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day.


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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    LMFAO now if that was real, then fair play to the Author

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
    Join Date
    Jan 2003

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Autumn Fox's Avatar n00b
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    On the Throne of Hopeless
    Originally posted by ashutosh_cool16@13 May 2004 - 19:39
    (...)Never f*** with your systems administrator. (...)
    And to think that the meneger class gets such high pay checks. F*** 'em, but i woulden't mind earning that much and being one B)


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