26 More Ways to Leave Your Lover
1. Leave up the lid, Sid.
2. Throw his clothes on the lawn, Dawn.
3. Keep wetting the bed, Fred.
4. Stab her and a waiter after nightfall, Orenthal.
5. Send her to Capitol Hill, Bill.
6. Tell him you prefer your battery-operated toy, Joy.
7. Put on her teddy, Eddie.
8. Vote him off the show, Flo.
9. Throw a toaster in the tub, Bub.
10. Find another Cruz, Cruise.
11. Stop taking your Paxil, Axl.
12. Tell him you're really a man, Jan.
13. Tell her you're attracted to men, Ben.
14. Tell her about her odor, Fyodor.
15. Have an affair with an intern, Vern.
16. Call her a skank, Hank.
17. Dump her on "Springer," Klinger.
18. Marry her off to another wacko, Jacko.
19. Keep saying, "Dude, you're not gettin' a Dell!" Adele.
20. Dress like a girl, Merle.
21. Say she looks fat in those pants, Lance.
22. Tell her Ashcroft won't let you leave, Steve.
23. Run off with her mother, Strother.
24. Bust a cap in her kitty, P. Diddy.
25. Add small quantities of mercury to her dinner every night over a period of several years, making her slowly, but surely, insane, Wayne.
26. Make too many bad rhymes, Tom.