sorry they are a bit random but who cares i get to slate the french
What do you call a french man killed defending his country? ... I don't know either, its never happened!
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? People were confused about which side to spit on.
"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
---- Hannibal Lecter
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton
What is the differance between American fries and French fries? Courage!!
You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city street. One British, one American, one French. They all seem intent on mugging you. However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. What do you do? Answer: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Good day!
Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Don't want their record for surrender broken
Q: Why do french people always wear yellow?
A: To match the color of their blood!
Q: What's the easist way to get lung cancer?
A: Breath the air in Paris!
Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to have a french flag?
A: In case they want to surrender!
Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate?
A: She wanted to be the first french person to be able to defend herself!
During one of the namy wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why to you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said,"That is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."
Why do the French never perform “the wave” at a soccer game?
Because, that’s a gesture reserved for use only in time of war.
Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and they turned her over to the enemy!